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Saturday Links - People Named Tyler Suck At Hockey

Blues host Dallas. The 'Cock is winning. Your Central favorite? #JagrForever, maybe literally. Surprises, both pleasant and shitty. Newfoundlanders are smart. The science of hangovers. And Mental Floss outtakes. Sorry, you're stuck with me again.

By Donut King
Perry Nelson-USA TODAY Sports

I can remember when the original Minnesota North Stars were a division rival of the Blues. Now it's these schlubs from Dallas.

Whatever. I want my childhood back.

And actually, the Tyler that plays for Dallas is pretty good at hockey, especially this year. Maybe want to put a body on him tonight.

BLUES NEWS:

  • Ken Hitchcock is becoming a chart-topper! No, he didn't release a spoken word album. [StL Today]
  • Who are you picking to win the Central? Dirk at On The Forecheck wants your help. [SLGT]

MEET THE ENEMY--THE DALLAS STARS:

  • If you're so inclined, go and scout the Stars at Defending Big D. [Defending Big D]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • All of last night's games were somewhat weird. To me, anyway. [NHL.com]
  • 12 contests on the docket tonight. I hear one of them is near an Arch. [NHL.com]
  • On Thursday, Greg Wyshynski ran down his top thirteen pleasant surprises among the 2013-14 season at the quarter pole (Yes, Alex Steen is part of one, but so are his linemates). . . [Puck Daddy]
  • . . . and then on Friday, Wyshynski tells us who he thinks have been the thirteen biggest disappointments. [Puck Daddy]
  • Apparently Jaromir Jagr takes the #JagrForever hashtag as a bit of a challenge. He's thinking about participating in the 2018 Pyeongchang Winter Olympics. [Newark Star-Ledger]
  • Semyon Varlamov was formally charged by the Denver District Attorney yesterday. [Denver DA]
  • These Winter Classic gimmicks? Well, that all started 10 years ago with the Heritage Classic, which was awesome because IT'S ACTUALLY BELOW FREEZING IN FUCKING EDMONTON. [NHL.com]
  • Remember those awesome Old Spice ads from a couple years ago? Well the dude that starred in 'em . . . it's likely he's not a bad hockey player. [The Color Of Hockey]

OTHER SHIT:

  • A couple quick-thinking Newfoundlanders--who apparently wanted to participate in the most Canadian story ever-- kept a Greenland shark from choking on a piece of moose. (S/T to Kate) [CBC News -- NL]
  • They take the whole bomb thing seriously in Oklahoma City, for good reason. Well, thankfully, this one only turned out to be a burrito. Which . . . well, make your own joke here. [Y! / AP]
  • It's Science Saturday . . . and time to put that science to work for YOU! Yes, we have the science behind hangover causes, cures and prevention! [Deadspin]

VIDEO:

Let's also celebrate Science Saturday by watching a bunch of nerds fuck up on camera. (Yep, more Mental Floss! Deal with it.):

"GO FUCK YOURSELF, SAN DIEGO!"

So provided everything works properly, J-Mill have shit figured out . . . he'll be in tomorrow and Monday, and I'll return Tuesday. So send J-Mill some stuff, will ya?:

Game day stuff is forthcoming. And buy a Game Time paper . . . and tip your vendor. Because I mean, don't be a dick.