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Wednesday Links - No, Chicago, No.

The Stanley Cup Finals begin this evening in Chicago and people blather on about it. And other stuff happened, but never ask "What Happened?" at a murder scene. Gitcho dayum linkz.

By Donut King

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Zdeno Chara is really tall and shit.
Zdeno Chara is really tall and shit.
USA TODAY Sports

Go Bruins.

BLUES NEWS:

  • Ain't nobody got TIME for that.
  • But really, check out Hildy's piece on the Blues' pending RFA's. [SLGT]
HOCKEY NEWS:

Mostly a bunch of Stanley Cup Finals previews, though I imagine many more of those will post/publish today.
  • Here's one from USA Today's Kevin Allen. [USA Today]
  • This one, from Jesse Spector of the Sporting News. Also includes stuff about all the other playoff teams, including . . . yep, the Blues. Meh. [The Sporting News]
  • And this one, from the crew at Eye On Hockey. [CBS Sports / Eye On Hockey]
  • In other hockey news, Canadian Major Juniors will phase out European goalies. Because that doesn't seem jingoistic or anything. Or the dumb fuckers can admit that their country's goaltenders suck. [Pro Hockey Talk]
OTHER SHIT:
  • I wanted to post this in Videos, but it won't let me . . . Russell Crowe presents Scott Grimes, who can sing the Star-Spangled Banner as if he's in a hockey arena. On his own. Just watch. (Thanks Kate!) [The Tonight Show]
  • Goalies trying to stop beach balls and failing, even in a fake GIF, are never not funny. This one from the SLGT Facebook Group. DON'T LET IT PAST YOU, PENS! [lolpens]
  • Because when I think of Mizzouruh, I think of "Crazy chainsaw-wielding bitches". [Y! / AP]
VIDEO:

lostinthecrowd passes another one along . . . just . . . never ask "What Happened?" at a crime scene, okay?

What Happened? (via TomSka)


Shit . . . goes down.

Fuck Chicago. And for good measure . . . Fuck Detroit.