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Tuesday Links - Rigid Sigmoidoscopy

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People are still getting paid. The Wild are not one of those people, and their doctors are assholes. Teenagers are stupid. Fuck the wave. And comedy on a painful procedure by a late, great comedian. Hey, links are back!

Seems the Wild and Rangers didn't do much right by this guy. Sad.
Seems the Wild and Rangers didn't do much right by this guy. Sad.
Paul Bereswill

I actually have links for you to click on. So why don'tcha?

BLUES NEWS:

  • I'll be closing the poll sometime this afternoon. So vote now while you have the chance. [SLGT]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • The most disturbing news to come about yesterday might have been the prescription records of Derek Boogaard. The doctors of the Wild and Rangers are assholes, it seems. [Twitter / @wyshynski]
  • Speaking of the Wild . . . their accountants tell people they lost $30MM last season and, of course, instead of blaming the fact that they paid Zach Parise and Ryan Suter eleventy bajillion fucking dollars, they're gonna blame the lockout. Fuck. You. People. (Oh, and it's probably fuzzy accounting anyway. Also, welcome to the Central, fuckwads.) [Puck Daddy]
  • Martin Brodeur will have a new mask next season, and he's putting his dogs on them. I'd do the same. If I had dogs. And was arguably the best goaltender ever. [In Goal Magazine]
  • For some reason, Zach Bogosian got a 7-year deal worth north of $5MM AAV. I guess he . . . CAN be good one day? Anyway, if I'm Alex Pietrangelo, I'm salivating at this and telling my agent to make shitloads of copies of this contract. [Jets]
  • If you think the commercialization of hockey is getting bad here in North America, don't look at this slab of ice from Europe. You'll seize the fuck out. [Puck Daddy]

OTHER SHIT:

  • Kate sends us this piece about animals that do "The Wave" better than humans. Actually, ANYTHING can do "The Wave" better than humans because fuck "The Wave". #TeamBanTheWave #TeamFuckTheWave [NPR]
  • Another from Kate . . . teenage boys are stupid. Blowguns are to be BLOWN, not SUCKED. #DarwinAwards [NPR]
  • A lip-reader has deciphered the best manager/umpire and player/umpire arguments in Major League Baseball this season. As you could imagine, the language is a bit feisty. [Deadspin]

VIDEO:

Childhood Trauma passes along this great clip of the late, great Dennis Wolfberg discussing a rather uncomfortable procedure - the name of which is included in the title of this links post. OUCH.

He ought to have gotten at least a popsicle out of that, you'd think. For the courtesy.