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Monday Links - Preseason Games Mean Jack

Blues win. Yay. Cliff Ronning on a player star. Shit gets real in Glendale. Jared Cowen extension done. Todd Helton is better than you. And #MakeBuscemiSay . . . everything. Time to make the links!

By Donut King
This guy ALMOST scored a goal last night. FOR THE BLUES.
This guy ALMOST scored a goal last night. FOR THE BLUES.
USA TODAY Sports

I once tried to get into preseason hockey, because it seemed like the right thing for a wannabe hockey writer/blogger/regionally-famous hero to do. Then I started watching preseason hockey and . . . well, fuck it. Give me real games.

BLUES NEWS:

  • In their first preseason battle, the Blues beat the Stars 6-5 in a shootout. Maxim Lapierre (2) (!), Sebastian Wannstrom, Ryan Reaves (!!) and Adam Cracknell (!!!) got goals, while Vladimir Tarasenko got the lone shootout goal. Also, it's fucking preseason. But that means hockey season is coming soon. [Blues]
  • Tim and I also recorded Episode 9 of Beyond Checkerdome over the weekend. No one lent us a kazoo or a vuvuzela, sadly.

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • Former Blue Cliff Ronning was REALLY, REALLY damn good in NHL '93 because he had connections. Well, here's Ronning standing on a mat with an NHL '93 "player star" on it because NERDGASM. [Puck Daddy]
  • Other teams had more exciting preseason openers than the Blues and Stars did . . . such as the Kings and Coyotes, a game which featured a possible headshot from Jordan Nolan that knocked Rostislav Klesla into a hospital bed . . . [Pro Hockey Talk]
  • . . . now, if you ask Nolan and his coach--Darryl Sutter--the hit was clean. Dave Tippett isn't having any of that shit, though . . . [Pro Hockey Talk]
  • . . . and after an elbow/possible dive incident that followed the large hit, Paul Bissonnette (MAYBE) jumped off the bench to fight Nolan, and if this is what actually happened, BizNasty will probably get a 10-game suspension. [Pro Hockey Talk]
  • What I'm basically saying is that everyone acted like a douche in this situation.
  • Jared Cowen signed a semi-bridge RFA deal with the Senators, though why it took this long is . . . silly. [Senators]

OTHER SHIT:

  • Remember Todd Helton? He used to be Peyton Manning's backup QB at Tennessee . . . now he's retiring from baseball. This makes me feel . . . old. [Denver Post]
  • The CBS affiliate in Orlando had to apologize for following the archaic rules the NFL provides for secondary markets, because due to those rules, Orlando has to show all the Jacksonville Jaguars road games. And the Jaguars . . . well, suck. HEY, REMEMBER WHEN BLAINE GABBERT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD?! [Deadspin / Screengrabber]
  • Check out this frog . . . he totally photobombs a NASA launch. He's . . . possibly my hero. [Y! / The Sideshow]

VIDEO:

Kate delivers the #MakeBuscemiSay skit from Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. Love or hate Steve Buscemi, he made this segment better than it should've been:

Hey you! Send me shit to link!

There will be a training camp photo gallery later this morning. There will be a quiz on it later . . . or never. Not sure which.