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Wednesday Links - Russian Jealousy

The KHL wants Ovi (#NoShit). The Flyers need cheap players. Gary Bettman is paid a large sum of money. An obvious choice for captain on Long Island. Outdoor college hockey. Never act like a dick at the poker table. And more Strong Bad. Hump Daaaaaay.

By Donut King
The KHL is an inferior league, and Alexander Ovechkin . . . well, kinda KNOWS that.
The KHL is an inferior league, and Alexander Ovechkin . . . well, kinda KNOWS that.
USA TODAY Sports

I've found out that even when you move across town, moving sucks. Oh well, whatever I can do to save on rent, save on fuel and live in a better apartment complex and neighborhood, I'll do.

BLUES NEWS:

  • Hildy posted the latest in her "Meet The New Central Division" series by getting a preview of the Dallas Stars from Taylor and Erin at Defending Big D. Nothing was mentioned of J-Mill's "How-To Hate" piece, which might be for the better, as far as their sanity is concerned. [SLGT]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • Dynamo Moscow of the KHL wants Alexander Ovechkin to give up his contract with the Capitals and come back to Russia. I say . . . fuck you, Dynamo Moscow. Leave Ovi alone. [Russian Machine Never Breaks]
  • Gary Bettman made $8.3MM during the 2011-12 season, according to tax documents. About $8.299MM than he's worth, I say. [Sports Business Journal]
  • The Flyers have cap problems (thanks to Paul Holmgren's apparent psilocybin addiction) but want to sign Simon Gagne . . . so Gagne may be coming to the Flyers on a camp tryout basis. [Philly.com]
  • According to Arthur Staple of Newsday, the Islanders will install a new Captain next week, and it appears John Tavares will be the guy. I'd say that's a good choice. [Twitter / @StapeNewsday]
  • Ryan Lambert doesn't, but does, compare Corey Crawford to David Clarkson in a Trending Topics special, and it's kinda hard for me to disagree, actually. Yes, I still think Corey Crawford is overrated. Shut up. [Puck Daddy]
  • The Minnesota Golden Gophers women's (vs. Minnesota State) and men's (vs. Ohio State) hockey teams will play games at TCF Bank Stadium, the outdoor football stadium on Minnesota's campus. Because we can't have enough outdoor games now, apparently. [Gopher Sports]
  • Ryan O'Byrne will try his luck overseas next season after signing a contract with Praha of the KHL. You still can't have Ovi, fuckers. [TSN]

OTHER SHIT:

  • If you act like a dick at the poker table, hopefully things like this ALWAYS happen to you. [Deadspin]
  • Some guy who legally changed his name to Santa Claus was selected for jury duty. [Y! / The Sideshow]
  • Except for college basketball, I don't do basketball. But this trick shot from a high tower in Rotterdam is fucking insane. Someone should try this from the Space Needle. [Deadspin]

VIDEO:

Again . . . Strong Bad used to be my hero. Especially when he's making his own techno video with The Cheat.

"Let's break open this glow stick and pour it in Homestar Runner's Mountain Dew."

And Silent J sent this e-mail . . . was it Jay McClement? Guess that beats talkin'. #JSelke

Hey, fuckers! Send me links!

Beyond Checkerdome Episode 7 posts this afternoon. Give 'er a listen.