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CDC At Scottrade to Investigate Blues' Mystery Illness (EDIT: Hitch Was Just Joking)

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The Centers for Disease Control have decided to take a break from botching their ebola response to investigate the bacterial infection that's swept through the Blues' locker room. The swollen jaw symptoms may be indicative of the mumps. UPDATE: Not Really ... just a case of humor lost on something that sounds all too plausible. See the comments below for "the REST of the story..."