Wednesday Links - RiffTrax Likes Me!

A team coached by Ted Nolan acting like a bunch of assholes when things aren't going their way? I am just so, SO stunned.

And I had to Twitter block some asshole because apparently saying someone should "take off (their) tin foil hat" is considered "friendly banter" to this guy. Yep. Fuck you, weasel.

And seriously, if you'd rather not interact with that pile of shit, don't. I wouldn't blame you.

Anyhoo. You're not here for the bitch fest. You're here for the links.

BLUES NEWS:

• Third hat trick of the season, and it was Jori Lehtera this time. Three goals on a late five-minute major after Vladimir Tarasenko got speared in the naughty bits by Nicolas Deslauriers (someone played the blind squirrel on this power play, by the way), including two by Joakim Lindstrom, and the Blues coasted to a 6-1 victory over the Sabres, who--as you'd expect from a piss-poor team playing a tough, physical, good team--acted like a bunch of assheads. CCR wrote words and stuff. [SLGT]
• Here's the GIF of the spear. Ten times worse than whatever it was Ian Cole did to Tyler Ennis, but y'know. #Grit #Sandpaper #SabresSuckAtHockeying [gyfcat . . . @myregularface]
• You should really be reading the "Memorabilia Memories" page in the paper edition of St. Louis Game Time. Here's last night's. [SLGT]
• Speaking of last night's paper . . . a little birdie told me the chief was emailing free copies OF last night's paper. Send a note to gtbradlee AT gmail DOT com . . . and while you're at it, subscribe for the rest of the season for just $2 an issue!
• Steve Ott may FEEL refreshed in St. Louis, but the former Sabres Captain sure as shit ain't PLAYING refreshed. Oh, and apparently, he HAS scored goals before. Which is weird, he doesn't do that here. (S/T to HallPlante) [Buffalo Hockey Beat]
• So who had better dazzlers in the last week or so . . . Seth Griffith or Vladimir Tarasenko? My guess is that our pal, Sarah Connors. is a bit biased toward Griffith . . . but y'know. That's to be expected. [Stanley Cup of Chowder]

HOCKEY NEWS:

• Only one score mattered last night, but there were 10 others regardless. Have a look. Oh, and let's all point and laugh at the Avalanche(s) (AGAIN)! [NHL.com 11/11/14]
• Two games tonight. Both on NBCSN. And both ACTUALLY worthy of the Wednesday Night Rivalry treatment. Bruins-Maple Leafs? Kings-Ducks? Yep, that works. [NHL.com 11/12/14]
• Our old pal, Lightning(s) goalie Ben Bishop, thinks Blackhawks forward Ben Smith is a rudy-poo candy-ass and had to layeth the smacketh down on him. (Of course, this was done to draw a call, as we all know.) ROCK BOTTOM! [CBS Sports Eye on Hockey]
• Hockey in Las Vegas? It could be coming. No, really. [Star-Tribune]
• Track meet teams are exciting, but are they really helping their own cause? Momalytics is on the case. [Puck Daddy]
• A curious trade . . . the Stars were able to turn what's left of Sergei Gonchar into a lower cap hit . . . sending him to the Canadiens for Travis Moen, who isn't great but isn't dead. [Defending Big D]
• Peter Budaj is currently not with the Jets, but he DOES have a pretty badass mask which features Ned Flanders . . . as a fighter pilot! [CBS Sports Eye on Hockey]
• UConn is in Hockey East. Alaska got hit by the NCAA. ECAC coaches are being dicks to each other. Wisconsin blows, for some reason. High records for lower-conference teams are iffy. And a top ten. All in Ryan Lambert's weekly NCAA Hockey 101. [Puck Daddy]
• The Blue Jackets won Twitter yesterday. #FuckESPN [USA Today / For The Win]
• The Ducks announced that Francois Beauchemin and Corey Perry are dealing with "viral gland infections". Hey, this sounds familiar. [Pro Hockey Talk]
• 3-on-3 has reduced the number of shootouts in the AHL dramatically. And there's good reason for it. [Puck Daddy]
• A week after having surgery to remove a possibly cancerous tumor from his thyroid, Penguins defenseman Olli Maatta skated with his teammates. Good on the kid. #FuckCancer [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]
• Why was super-prospect Connor McDavid in a fight? That's a really good question, because that seems fucking stupid. Anyway, he may have broken his hand when he missed the dude's face and punched the glass. Which is even more fucking stupid. [USA Today / For The Win]

OTHER SHIT:

• As a Portland Timbers F.C. fan (Rose City 'Til I Die), I'm supposed to hate Seattle Sounders F.C. But seriously, how the fuck am I gonna hate it when Pearl Jam's Mike McCready busts out his axe and absolutely shreds The Star-Spangled Banner like this? It's impossible for me to hate that shit. [Deadspin / Screamer]
• There's no better way to celebrate your 100th year of existence than . . . jumping out of a perfectly good plane, I guess? [Y! / AP]

VIDEO:

So a cool thing happened yesterday. I got an email from the folks that make RiffTrax, the spin-off of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and--while it'll never BE MST3K--include some of the voices and faces that made the series great. And they followed me on Twitter. Awesome sauce, mang. Thanks!

So, keeping with our (now two-week) theme, let's show some more of the Best of MST3K. Volume Two! This edition includes riffs from their viewings of The Undead, Laserblast and Star Force: Fugitive Alien II:

Hellz yeah.

Your links and MST3K / RiffTrax videos go here:

• gtdonutking AT gmail DOT com
• @KingDonutI

And be on the lookout for Episode 60 of Beyond Checkerdome soon enough.