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Friday Links - Drink Schmitt's Gay

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Doesn't matter what happened last night. It's all about the future . . . or something. But hey, let's set up next week's video theme with one of my favorite SNL ad parodies of all time . . . Schmitt's Gay!

"THANKS, SHATTS, YOU FUCKING PRICK."
"THANKS, SHATTS, YOU FUCKING PRICK."
Eric Bolte-USA TODAY Sports

Well. That fucking blew.

BLUES NEWS:

  • So. Vladimir Tarasenko did his thing, but so did Max Pacioretty and the rest of the Canadiens. The Blues dropped a 4-1 decision to the current Best Team in Hockey at their barn. Two losses in a row. HEY, LET'S ALL PANIC AND SHIT. Or . . . uhhhh, don't. [StL Today / Morning Skate]
  • I was debating whether or not I should post this one because seriously, fuck Adrian Dater . . . but I decided . . . "let's". With this tweet, Adrian Dater proved one of two things: 1) He looked at a scoresheet and did not watch a damn bit of the Blues-Habs game, or 2) He watched some (or maybe all) of the game, but did so with his head crammed directly and completely up his own fucking ass. Now, in regards to Adrian Dater, I am as damn cynical as anyone. So, I'm inclined to believe Option 2 is more likely. [Twitter / @adater]
  • As most of you know by now, friend of St. Louis Game Time Tim "Coach" Oshie--father of T.J. Oshie--has been battling Alzheimer's. Tim and Teej spoke to Scott Burnside regarding the diagnosis, what's happened since and what happens next. [ESPN]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • Eleven games last night. All went final. [NHL.com 11/20/14]
  • There WERE four games scheduled for tonight, but now it's only three. More on that in a moment. [NHL.com 11/21/14]
  • So, before that Blues-Canadiens game started, the Habs traded struggling/waived/demoted forward Rene Bourque to the Ducks for Bryan Allen, who I believe was completely disliked by Ducks fans. [Anaheim Calling]
  • We're close to that magical 20-game mark that signifies the "quarter-pole" of the NHL season. Adam Gretz looks at what each team needs to do to reach 95 points and, more than likely, earn a playoff spot. [CBS Sports Eye on Hockey]
  • The Sabres were supposed to host the Rangers tonight, but because of that massive snowstorm you may have heard about, the NHL postponed the game. Probably the right call. [USA Today]
  • Kings defenseman Slava Voynov was charged with "one felony count of corporal injury to a spouse with great bodily injury". So yes, let the "fun" begin. [LA Times]
  • One would think that driving a very massive, powerful piece of machinery while drowsy is . . . uhhhhhh . . . not exactly optimal. But hey, what do I know? [Puck Daddy]
  • Adam Gretz followed up his playoff post with a "quarter-pole" grading of each team, sorted by division. As you might imagine, the Blues graded out pretty damn well. [CBS Sports Eye on Hockey]
  • The Syracuse Crunch and Utica Comets will be playing a game at the Carrier Dome in Syracuse tomorrow that may set indoor attendance records. Here's a preview. [FOHS Farm Report]
  • "Mr. Hockey", Gordie Howe, is still immobile but is showing minor signs of improvement. Godspeed, sir. [USA Today]
  • Arizona State offers all the things that hockey in Glendale offers, but very little in the way of hockey tradition . . . probably BECAUSE of Glendale, but perhaps that's just me. Though the travel doesn't help, obviously. [Puck Daddy]
  • Chris Peters finishes Eye on Hockey's "quarter-pole" triumvirate with awards. Pekka Rinne? Mark Giordano? Filip Forsberg? Come on down! [CBS Sports Eye on Hockey]

OTHER SHIT:

  • Juggalos are the fucking worst. Maybe they should try messing with THIS quasi-hipster that's NOT in Portland. ***POINTS AT OWN CHEST*** (S/T to doubleduck) [Death and Taxes]
  • It's not even Thanksgiving, but our SBN overlords have a handy Holiday Gift Idea guide for you anyway. [SB Nation]
  • Well, the Bills-Jets game WILL be played, but it won't be in Buffalo. Looks like it's set for Ford Field in Detroit, Monday at 6pm CDT. [Shutdown Corner]

VIDEO:

So I have a video theme for next week . . . find me old beer commercials. Old beer commercials are great. But first, let's kick things off with one of my favorite Saturday Night Live commercial parodies of all time . . . Schmitt's Gay:

Might I add that the original of this commercial, when aired, had "Beautiful Girls" by Van Halen behind it. Which is a great song, but didn't much make sense for the theme of the commercial. Also, rights fees and shit.

Alright, so you have your video theme for next week. For the weekend, send your stuff to J-Mill, who--by the way--celebrated a birthday yesterday:

And I bid you adieu until next Tuesday.