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Wednesday Links - Bolt Town, Ya Knob!

Blues over Bolts. Don't TL;DR us. Can we like Ott? Cup odds. Trades, trades galore. Linesman gets punched. Don't go to Little Caesar's. 1994 World Cup memories. Eat your weight in pork. And pop some balloons with a laser pointer. It's Hump Day!

"Wait, who's THAT?!"
"Wait, who's THAT?!"
Dilip Vishwanat

Remember when things like "save percentage" mattered to people? That was SO last week. The boys are winning games now, so fuck that noise!

BLUES NEWS:

  • Ryan Miller stopped 15 of 17 shots in his home debut as Blues goaltender and Steve Ott didn't fuck up. And the Blues beat the Lightning(s) 4-2, which is nice. For your recap . . . Ashley, AKA "ReelBayudRowbhat". (All-Misspelling Edition, on my part.) [SLGT]
  • The Blues have given up goals in bunches this year at times, sure, but it's no worse than other teams of their type, as CanesAndBluesFan explains. (Oh, and to the "TL;DR" asshole . . . find the time to read the fucking piece and find your fucking answer before poo-pooing the whole fucking thing and coming off like an arrogant know-it-all prick. Yeah, you. Don't be THAT guy.) [SLGT]
  • Can the Blues use a guy like Steve Ott? This FanPoster says . . . sure. [SLGT FanPosts]
  • The Blues have never, that anyone can recall, been this high on the Stanley Cup odds list. And this was BEFORE Friday's trade. (S/T to TerrapinKen) [Odds Shark]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • Scores. There were ten of them, but you probably only care about less than a handful. [NHL.com 03/04/14]
  • Schedule. Four games. Your Wednesday Night Eastern Rivalry is Capitals-Flyers, because HEY MEDIOCRITY WOOOOOO!!!!!! [NHL.com 03/05/14]
  • The DemocraThree crew did a Trade Deadline special. Looks like I was the most serious of the crew. I really gotta step up my game, man. [III Communication]
  • Remember that Deadspin piece I put on yesterday's links about Mike Ilitch, his new arena and the City of Detroit? Well, this is here to remind you . . . dude also owns Little Caesar's. A FanPost from TerrapinKen, who was on fire yesterday. [SLGT FanPosts]
  • In a trade that seems several years in the making, the Canucks traded franchise goaltender Roberto Luongo to the Panthers yesterday in a deal that puts your 2011 Stanley Cup Finals goalies on the same team. Tim Thomas must be pleased. Hildy has a bit on this. [SLGT]
  • Haven't we all wanted to punch an NHL official in the face? Well, Michal Rozsival did just that last night. On accident. [Deadspin]
  • Luongo wasn't the only goalie to move. The Oilers shipped Ilya Bryzgalov to the Wild(s) for a draft pick, then nabbed Ducks backup Viktor Fasth to backup freshly-signed Ben Scrivens . . . Jesus, it seems like they've had about 30 goalies in Edmonton this year. [Puck Daddy]
  • Martin Erat asked the Capitals for a trade. They gave him one . . . to the desert in Glendale. Yep, the Phoenix Coyotes acquired the malcontent forward for spare parts. [SB Nation]
  • The Flyers spent two draft picks and a prospect on . . . Andrew MacDonald? Boy oh boy, the Islanders HAVE to be happy with that. [Puck Daddy]
  • Remember old friend Mike Weaver? He was picked up from Florida by the Canadiens yesterday. Not a bad move for them. [Spectors Hockey]
  • On National Pancake Day, the Ducks shipped Dustin Penner to the Caps. [Washington Post / Capitals Insider]

OTHER SHIT:

  • The Summer of 1994 . . . 25 years after Woodstock. Soccer's World Cup was in the United States, and something magical happened during that World Cup . . . the United States actually contended, and the ripple effect is still felt. Also, that was 20 fucking years ago. Jesus, I'm old. (Dare you to TL;DR THIS one.) [SB Nation / Longform]
  • Nice to see new Detroit Tigers second baseman and Mizzou alum Ian Kinsler doesn't hold grudges or anything. [Deadspin]
  • If you're going to eat yourself to death with pork, make it bacon. For fuck's sake, man. [Y! Odd News]

VIDEO:

I have the sense that either J-Mill or I have posted this one before, but I don't care . . . here's the QI crew popping balloons with a laser pointer:

"DON'T POINT IT AT THEIR FUCKIN' EYES! IT'S DANGEROUS!"

Gonna go one more round this week. Help me . . . help you:

And come back later for Episode 33 of Beyond Checkerdome, where we talk about . . . oh, nothing in particular, or perhaps a trade.