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Hate Fuel - A Guide to Jeering the Chicago Blackhawks

Actually, why the fuck do you need a guide?

You do not need a guide to jeering each of these individuals. Let's just continue to hate them collectively, as always.
You do not need a guide to jeering each of these individuals. Let's just continue to hate them collectively, as always.
Jonathan Daniel

SB Nation 2014 NHL Playoff Bracket

Guys and gals, in the last couple years, I have posted a "Hate Fuel" post on St. Louis Game Time: The Website ahead of each playoff series to get us all fired up for the postseason opponent ahead. The last three series in those past couple years, those teams have been on the west coast, so reasonably, we have had to manufacture our hate in a reasonable sense, despite the fact that we've had great reason to hate the both of these teams due to past experiences.

Well, you don't have to worry about that . . . THIS time around.

This is the fucking Blackhawks, man.

I don't have to go through each individual player to tell you why you should hate the guy. You should already be doing that if you're a Blues fan. Why? Because he wears that red sweater with the Indian head crest on it. Because, hey, he wears it with pride because he plays for them. Because those fuckers have won two out of the last four Stanley Cup championships while the Blues have spent 47 some-odd years just hoping for a sniff at glory just fucking once. Because the Blues franchise was founded upon the need for the Blackhawks to have another local rival to pump up ticket sales, and St. Louis happened to have arena space open.

I don't need to list reasons why you need to hate the individuals, and really, I should have no extra reasons for you to hate the whole fucking team. You, as a Blues fan, should have those reasons ready. It's not like the Blues haven't fucking played these guys enough this year or in the fucking past, right?

Sure, the Blues have limped to the finish line. Sure, the Blues lost six straight to finish the season and lost more manpower than the Chilean mines (sorry, Dan O'Neill, these guys AREN'T Chilean miners) down the stretch. Sure, the Blues have pretty much played themselves from a position of strength to a position of weakness in a matter of a month. Sure, not a Goddamn person watching the Blues lately apart from the odds-makers thinks the Blues have a shot in hell of advancing. But they're not playing the Dallas Stars or the Minnesota Wild(s) or the Phoenix Coyotes, as people were expecting a couple weeks ago.

The Blues played themselves into a position where not only are they guaranteed to play the defending Stanley Cup Champion in the playoffs, but they're guaranteed to get them right off the hop.

You could argue that this was the matchup the Blues had been expecting all season. Hell, you could argue that this Blues team has been ready for the postseason since mid-March, because they sure as shit haven't played like they've given a rat's ass about the remainder of the schedule since that point, if not since a point earlier than that. The injuries just exacerbated that readiness.

Do remember, by the way, that this Blues team WAS the first to clinch a playoff berth. Do remember, also, that this Blues team WAS in control of their own fate up until a few games ago. No, the team did not tank to face the Blackhawks. They tanked because they got beat up and played like shit for six games, and this is where they found themselves.

None of that shit matters now. This is where the Blues are. They're playing their biggest rival. And we hate these motherfuckers with a passion.

A rundown of why we hate each of these individuals does none of us any good. We already hate these fuckers. Why do we need reasons?

Fuck the Blackhawks. Fuck them all. Beat them silly, if you can. And if you can't, make sure they can't advance to the round following.

There's your "Hate Fuel". Not like you needed any more.