Thursday Links: I Know You'd Like to Think Your S*** Don't Stink...

When you woke up this morning, did the air smell fresher? Did your shower feel warmer? Did your eggs/cereal/breakfast beer taste sweeter?

That's right - the Stanley Cup Playoffs have arrived!

BLUES NEWS:

• Has the Blues' late season slump taken away your faith in this team? Fear not! Here's why you should believe in the Blues again, composed beautifully by such a brilliant wordsmith who's also devilishly handsome. [SLGT]
• Fearless Leader Hildymac previews the series. [SLGT]
• Bernie Miklasz suggests that Ken Hitchcock should use his extensive knowledge of Civil War history to led the Blues to an upset. [STLToday]
• There may have been a slip in gate attendance this year, but the local broadcasts on Fox Sports Midwest did set a ratings record. [Frozen Notes]
• T.J. Oshie's commercial for Enterprise is now out, so get ready to see Yoshi's pretty mug fucking everywhere. [SLGT]

KNOW YOUR ENEMY - THE CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS:

• For a Fuckhawks-centric preview, check out our SBNation frenemies. [Second City Hockey]
• Be sure to also check out our game day paper-printing counterparts at The Committed Indian - and if you happen to be headed north on 55 to catch a game at The House That Michael Jordan Leased To the Blackhawks, don't forget to buy a copy of The Committed Indian game day paper! It won't keep you from getting shot while you're in downtown Chicago, but it's great reading until the ambulance arrives - and it might even stop the bleeding! [The Committed Indian]
• I don't have to tell you this, but there are going to be a fuck-ton of Blackhawks fans in town tonight. If any of them can tell you what number Steve Larmer wore, buy them a beer because they're for real. (Note: you won't find any of them who will know who you're talking about.) [Chicago Tribune]

HOCKEY NEWS:

• In the first game last night, the Lightning and the Canadiens played a wild, back & forth high scoring context (in other words, they both played like shit). The Habs eventually won in overtime, 5-4 to take game one in Tampa. [Habs Eyes on the Prize]
• Montreal GM (and Blues truly epic playoff goat) Marc Bergevin was pretty freaking excited. Steve Yzerman was not. [Puck Drunk Love]
• Elsewhere out east, the Blue Jackets gave the Penguins a scare by taking a 3-1 lead, but Pittsburgh fought back to win 4-3. [Pensburgh]
• Finally, the Ducks ran up to a 4-0 lead on the Stars before Dallas stormed back to nearly force overtime. Disneyland held on to win, however, 4-3. [Anaheim Calling]
• During the dying seconds of that Ducks-Stars game, Ryan Getzlaf took a Tyler Seguin slapshot right to the kisser and had to leave the ice. And he didn't even get credit for a goal from it - Keith Tkachuk is disappointed in you, sir. [SBNation NHL]
• You'd be forgiven if your focus is fixated on only one game tonight, but in case you're looking for an appetizer, the Flyers-Rangers series starts tonight at 6 central, while the Wild-Avalanche makes a nice dessert, followed by a big helping of Kings-Sharks as a late-night snack. Just don't fill up on bread. [NHL.com 4/17]
• Feeling nervous about tonight's game? Here's something to make you giggle and feel better: according to Winnipeg Jets GM Kevin Cheveldayoff, Ondrej Pavelec will still be the Jets' number one goalie next season. [Pro Hockey Talk]
• Everyone and their rabbi have given you their first round predictions (including most of you, thanks to our SLGT Bracket Contest!), but there's really only one preview anyone needs: that's Sean McIndoe's preview. Why? Because he's fucking Down Goes Brown, the King of all things great, good, and funny in the hockey blogosphere. Also, he's one of the few people picking the Blues. [Grantland]
• Oh, and the whole Puck Daddy family had some thoughts and predictions too. They're less kind to the local boys, mostly. [Puck Daddy]

OTHER THINGS:

• Congratulations, Hildy (if you give a shit, not sure). Atlanta will officially be getting an MLS team to begin play in 2017. It also led to this absolutely brilliant piece of trolling from Columbus Crew supporters. Seriously, top notch work, Crew fans. We can all learn a thing or two. [SBNation Soccer]
• In the on going battle of nerds vs jocks in the oddly chosen arena of sport, Carmelo Anthony of the New York Knicks (that's basketball, I think) laughed at & made fun of a preseason computer simulation prediction that said the Knicks would finish the year with only 37 wins. The NBA season ended...yesterday? Last week? Just now? I don't know...but the Knicks ended the year with exactly 37 wins. [Ball Don't Lie]
• A family in New Jersey recently received a summons for jury duty...addressed to their German Sheppard. It's fine, they probably won't accept him if he says he believe everything he smells. [CBS News]

VIDEOS:

Normally during the week I hold you to one video, but it's a special fucking occasion, so let's blow-out, shall we?

First off, if you haven't seen the CBC postseason intro from last night, do yourself a favor.

Now, in the next week or two, you'll be hearing a lot of bullshit from Blackhawks fans about how dirty the Blues are, or how illiterate the city of St. Louis is (despite the fact that St. Louis is the 9th most literate city in the US - with Chicago not making the top 10). When you hear that kind of hypocrisy, I want to you reply simply with this song:

"I know you'd like to think your shit don't stink, but lean a lil' bit closer see that roses really smell like poo-poo-poo!"

Do you have a link about how terrible Patrick Kane is? How much of a shitstain Andrew Shaw is? How terrible Brent Seabrook has been this year? Send them my way!

• jasonmcadams1120 AT gmail DOT com
• @JMill1120

Rock the Scott, and buy your St. Louis Game Time. The time for fucking around is over.