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Thursday Links - Jump To Conclusions Mat

Blues lose. Everyone jumps to conclusions before and after the game. And a bunch of other stuff, but really, let's not keep jumping to conclusions.

This guy is not a doctor, nor is he Nostradamus. But are YOU? Check Twitter to find out!
This guy is not a doctor, nor is he Nostradamus. But are YOU? Check Twitter to find out!
Jonathan Daniel

Twitter must have some really talented folks on it. I mean, by day, everyone was a doctor. And then after the game, everyone was Nostradamus.

But really, what every one of these fuckers needs is a "Jump To Conclusions Mat".

Oh, and if you are a Blues fan and you point out the similarities between this series and last year's playoff series, fine. But if you're a Blues fan and you TRULY believe the Blues are going to lose Games 5 and 6 because that's what happened last year and the sky is falling or whateverthefuck, please . . . do me and everyone else a favor . . . and don't bother to try and watch, listen to or otherwise track Games 5 or 6. I mean, if your mind's made up, why would you waste your time? Hell, why SHOULD you waste your time? So don't bother. Thanks.

Links for you to click on? I have those.


  • You know what happened. But Ash will recap for you anyway. Hopefully the trolls stay away this time . . . we can only warn 'em so much before we actually have to swing the hammer. [SLGT]
  • Here's what SCH had on it. [Second City Hockey]
  • Before the game, Robb chimed in with some analysis on who was converting possession into goals and who was not through three games. [SLGT]
  • Beyond Checkerdome Episode 40 reflects on two playoff wins and goes off on a few tangents. And we drank. And it was something. [SLGT]
  • An old interview by Patrik Berglund with Vladimir Sobotka (from before the Olympics). A lot of hilarity in this minute-long clip (SOBOTIC? NICE!). But don't try to play it on your phone . . . it probably won't work. (S/T to DanGNR) [CBS Local / St. Louis]


  • For all intents and purposes, the Blue Jackets were dead in the water. And then they scored three unanswered to tie it, then an OT marker to win it and draw even with the Penguins at 2. [The Cannon]
  • In Dallas, the Stars were looking at a 2-0 deficit after one. They rallied with four unanswered to take Game 4 over the Ducks (who healthy-scratched Teemu Selanne, mind you . . . and sent Ryan Getzlaf home for repairs) and send things back to Anaheim tied. [Defending Big D]
  • Today's schedule includes a trio of Game 4's. The Bruins try to take a 3-1 lead over the Red Wings, the Wild(s) try to even things up with the Avalanche(s) and the Sharks look to sweep the Kings . . . and yes, I ordered the teams in the fashion of what I would kinda LIKE to happen in each instance. [ 04/24/14]
  • Speaking of the Sharks and Kings series . . . somehow I missed this sequence of Justin Braun making Robyn Regehr look like a damn fool . . . and it's in GIF form! [Reddit]
  • And I also missed this dickweed from Montreal basically swiping a Max Pacioretty stick from a young Canadiens fan after Game 4. Hopefully someone had the good sense to kick this grown-ass man in the fucking balls. (S/T to @ChrisAhner) [Vine]
  • Someone made a Stanley Keg. Yawn, I've seen Montana's Stanley Cup. AND the ORIGINAL Stanley Cup in Toronto. So I find this "Stanley Keg" bullshit to be weak. [Puck Daddy]
  • Down Goes Brown makes the case that the NHL's new playoff system is not awful. Well, shit, I could've said that. I just couldn't do it as well or with as much humor. [Grantland]
  • The Calder Trophy finalists are Nathan MacKinnon and two other guys who don't matter because Nathan MacKinnon is winning this award by a fuck-ton. (But I'll humor you with the other two . . . they were Lightning(s) rookies Tyler Johnson and Ondrej Palat) [Puck Daddy]


  • Same sex marriage? Fuckin' knock yourself out, said Stone Cold Steve Austin on his podcast a while back. It's finally making the rounds NOW, for some reason. My favorite line might be: "Which one of these motherfuckers talked to God, and God said that same-sex marriage was a no-can-do?" [Deadspin]
  • DING! Fries are done . . . 20 fucking tons of fries . . . OVERDONE. [Y! / AP]


I was looking for a video of the "Jump To Conclusions Mat" scene from Office Space, but because FOX has copyrights to claim, no embeddable video with solid audio (or solid audio with video, for that matter) exists on the Inner Tubes, apparently.

So instead, you get The Hold Steady, with my mantra for the rest of this series and the playoffs. I fucking love these guys:


That's it for me this week . . . J-Mill has your weekend. You've got links, videos and such. So you should make sure you send them to him . . . because he's awesome and, like me, he'll post these things and credit you for sending them in:

And I end with this:


End this series and move on before I'm slated to do my next links post, boys. (In other words, win in 6.)