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Tuesday Links - Month-Long Bender

No, I still haven't recovered from Sunday afternoon. But I'll at least provide links today. Including a video of what we should all probably be doing right now.

By Donut King

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He's (probably) leaving. That's more booze for us.
He's (probably) leaving. That's more booze for us.
Jonathan Daniel

I'm no longer in "Fuck Everything" mode. I'm more in "Fuck Everyone" mode.

BLUES NEWS:

  • After a night's sleep, Average Joe believes the Blues are still broken, but revisits the whole thing and clarifies. [SLGT]
  • Greg Wyshynski calls Ryan Miller a playoff bust, and I find it hard to disagree, actually. [Puck Daddy]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • The Penguins eliminated the Blue Jackets with a 4-3 win in Columbus. [PensBurgh]
  • The Wild(s) forced a Game 7 with the Avalanche(s). The Fightin' Adjectives beat the Fightin' Landslides 5-2. [Minneapolis Star-Tribune]
  • Reverse sweep? The Kings beat the Sharks 4-1 and force a Game 7. [NHL.com]
  • Only one game tomorrow, and it's in Philadelphia. The Flyers try to stave off elimination, while the Rangers attempt to advance. [NHL.com 04/29/14]
  • Mike Keenan loses his shit. [Puck Daddy]
  • Elliotte Friedman's 30 Thoughts pieces are always interesting. [CBC]
  • Here are the finalists for the Norris Trophy. My money is on Zdeno Chara, but I suspect Duncan Keith could also claim it. Shea Weber, not so much. [Puck Daddy]
  • Florida head coach Peter Horachek will probably learn about his future with the Panthers in May. He currently holds the "Interim" tag. [Sun-Sentinel]
  • NHL logos as Game Of Thrones shields. Fuck. Yes. [Next Impulse Sports]
  • What do the Red Wings do now? Ryan Lambert ponders this and more in his What We Learned piece. [Puck Daddy]
  • Speaking of Detroit, watch our pal Sarah Connors help kick sand in their buried faces in a eulogy that was VERY well done but not nearly as good as the one J.R. Lind delivered for the Wings last year. [Puck Daddy]
  • Jim Rutherford officially steps down as GM of the Hurricanes. Enter Ron Francis. [CBS Sports Eye On Hockey]
  • Brian Burke is running the show for the Flames, but he now has a GM in place . . . and it's Brad Treliving. [USA Today]

OTHER SHIT:

  • Donald Sterling is a fucking scumbag. [Deadspin]
  • "I'M'A SHOOT YA WIT' DIS TATER, PO-PO." [Y! / AP]
  • Beer blimps are on the loose in New Brunswick. [CBC]
  • 14 DUI's. 14. You'd think one would learn. [Missoulian]

VIDEO:

Not sure if I've posted this before or not, but here's what I'd like to do with my life . . . if I had nothing to live for.

SUPERSIZE ME . . . WITH WHISKEY.

Link me:

Also, Episode 41 (IRONY, I FUCKING HATE YOU) of Beyond Checkerdome will be a bit late. It was recorded yesterday (as opposed to the usual Sunday). You'll enjoy it, especially the part where Tim realizes he's a touch hammered.

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