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Tuesday Links - Return of the Jaro

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AND his Water.

TRADE THIS GUY FOR JARO
TRADE THIS GUY FOR JARO
Doug Pensinger

Oh, hello, Jaro!

By the way, I watched a bit of yesterday's Opening Day ceremonies at Busch III and my first thought was . . . "Gee, Fox Sports Midwest is doing EXHAUSTIVE work trying to get Ballpark Village into their coverage." Anyone else feel that way?

Anyway. Links. I have some for you.

BLUES NEWS:

  • The Blues host the Capitals and probably face old friend Jaroslav Halak tonight. The Blues need a win to solidify the top seed in the West. The Capitals need wins, straight up. I know who's in better shape . . . anyway, the Blues know they have to play better because, well, they've been playing like shit, which of course means the Blues are going to lose in the first round, right? Whatever. Ain't the playoffs yet. [In The Slot / Lou Korac]
  • T.J. Oshie was nominated for Best U.S. Moment at the Best of U.S. Awards Show yesterday. I'm assuming it has to do with the Olympics, but really, I can't find any other links on it, so YAY TEEJ. [Twitter / @StLouisBlues]

KNOW YOUR ENEMY--THE WASHINGTON CAPITALS:

  • The Capitals are in town, and that means you need to visit Japers' Rink, which may perhaps be the best team-centric SBN site this side of the Maple Leafs (or Blues for that matter). [Japers' Rink]
  • Another good Caps blog, and actually there are a few of them, is Russian Machine Never Breaks. [Russian Machine Never Breaks]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • Three scores yesterday. The Devils needed a win over the Flames to help settle their playoff positioning, and failed. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL [NHL.com 04/07/14]
  • Ten games tonight. If you're the Blues, the most important one is in St. Louis. [NHL.com 04/08/14]
  • Standings. Hi. [NHL.com Standings]
  • If it weren't for Ondrej Pavelec, the Jets might be okay. If it weren't for Jonathan Bernier and James Reimer, the Leafs would be in the tank. What We Learned, from Ryan Lambert. [Puck Daddy]
  • Zac Rinaldo got four games for concussing Chad Ruhwedel on Sunday. [NHL.com]
  • Steve Yzerman got an extension, presumably for trading Martin St. Louis away, trading for Eric Brewer and signing him to an extension AND developing Steven Stamkos, which . . . well, whatever. [Puck Daddy]
  • Speaking of the Lightning(s) . . . Ben Bishop and Darren Pang swapped pads yesterday. CLOWN SHOES. [Twitter / @TBLightning(s)]
  • Evander Kane is dodging all questions about why he's been a healthy scratch. Pretty good bet, if Paul Maurice is in Winnipeg next year, Kane won't be with them. [Puck Daddy]
  • Obscene Alex, a Stars fan, is at his wits' end with the Stars. But he welcomes all those non-Blues fans aboard the Stars bandwagon. [Redacted]. [III Communication]
  • The stat nerds who told everyone the Maple Leafs couldn't sustain their success without changing their philosophy on puck possession? They ended up being right. Which sucks if you're not a stat nerd, working in Toronto and talking hockey and don't care about the stat stuff. [Deadspin]
  • 10 weird signs at hockey games. Yes, Oshie is involved. (S/T to CrossCheckRaise) [The Hockey News]

OTHER SHIT:

  • Possibly hard to believe (especially if you're ME) but the movie Major League is 25 as of yesterday. Here are 15 things you may not have known about this outstanding film (well, I knew Corbin Bernsen was a good ballplayer, but the rest . . . yeah.). (S/T to CrossCheckRaise) [Big League Stew]
  • Proof that people will do the dumbest things with missing police badges . . . a SPRAY TAN? (I mean, not that the guy doesn't need one, look at him) . . . Jesus, dude, at least go to a Krispy Kreme and get a fuckton of coffee and donuts (sorry . . . DOUGHNUTS) first. Or SOMETHING. [Y! Odd News]
  • If this isn't a clear sign the NCAA's athletes need to unionize, I'm not sure WHAT is, actually. (Remember, NCAA athletes get a scholarship and, in most cases, very little more . . . while their coaches and other superiors rake in cash like no one's business, at least at the top levels. Unlike the NHL, where the players actually get compensated for performance, yet the owners can't figure out why they can't make as much as the NCAA.) [Deadspin]
  • There's pretty much no doubt that Jorah Mormont is the most "Friendzoned" Game of Thrones character ever. (And for those of you that didn't want any GoT spoilers . . . I haven't seen S4E1 either, so go fuck yourself.) [BuzzFeed]
  • If you didn't hear, Connecticut beat Kentucky 60-54 in the NCAA basketball championship game yesterday. This UConn RA wants you to take your shit to Gempler, because he's not gonna tolerate your horsehonkie on his floor during his shift. (Seriously, if you've been in college, you've had this RA, and wanted to tell him to go fuck himself. Well, here's another one.) [SB Nation]

VIDEO:

The Blues don't have to play like honey badgers until the playoffs, but they could try it tonight, I suppose. John Green, take it away!:

*dun dun dun dun* HONEY BADGER!

SOS! (That means . . . SEND OUT STUFF):

Home game tonight, if you couldn't tell. #RockTheScott, get yourself a St. Louis Game Time rag and tip your damn vendor, you shit. Especially if it's Clarence.

LET'S GO BLUES.