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Wednesday Links - Screw It, I'm Leaving

My last links post before heading to Missouri/Illinois, of course, HAD to follow another disappointing Blues performance that didn't even come at the hands of a former teammate. Also, the greatest Nickelback parody ever. Hope to see some of you Sunday!

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Infrared Jaro would've gotten a shutout.
Infrared Jaro would've gotten a shutout.
Bruce Bennett

Go ahead. Jump off the bridge. I'm not gonna stop ya.

Gone? Oh. Good riddance.

Y'know what's weird? I'm being told I'm a "voice of reason". Guys, if I'm your voice of reason, that means everyone else is motherfucking crazy. I want to make you TOTALLY aware of this, because it's the honest-to-Jeebus truth.

Also, I find it amusing that the guy who unfollowed me on Saturday then made fun of me for, essentially, being too positive about the Blues . . . was too positive about the Blues yesterday. I'm not one to name names, but . . . hey, the same guy wondered why Alex Pietrangelo didn't play the puck on the empty-netter by Ben Smith on Sunday. (Here's why . . . HE BROKE HIS FUCKING STICK AND COULDN'T LEGALLY PLAY THE PUCK, JACKASS, AND THEREFORE THE ONLY THING HE COULD DO WAS SKATE BACKWARD AND HOPE HE MADE A MISTAKE. LEARN HOCKEY, DIPSHIT.)

Blues fans are a delight sometimes. But especially now, the ones who would normally be paying attention to baseball are paying attention to hockey and freaking out about something they have little to no concept of. Glad you're paying attention . . . now . . . just rein it in a bit, eh?

Anyway. Looks like I brought Ranty McRanterberry tonight. Sorry about that.

Links, right?


  • The Blues are playing like shit at what everyone believes is the wrong time, when the wrong time to play like shit is the ACTUAL playoffs, not when you're playing a shit-ton of teams desperate to keep playoff positioning. Anyway, in a related matter, the Blues lost to the Capitals 4-1. When Ashley, AKA "ActualDastardlyMegatron", puts a bunch of GIFs in her recap, it's not a good thing for the team. [SLGT]
  • Didn't look like Lou was blowing sunshine up anyone's ass in his recap, nor was the team. [In The Slot / Lou Korac]
  • How Japers' Rink saw things. Yeah, they're pretty sure they're not making the playoffs anyway, but the win was nice and stuff. [Japers' Rink]
  • Capitals coach Adam Oates told reporters before the game that Jaroslav Halak had asked out of yesterday's game. Halak says that's not true, but whatever, Oates appears to have made the right decision for his team in the short-term, which is all that matters because the dude's getting shit-canned in about a week anyway. [Puck Daddy]
  • David Backes left in the middle of the second period after blocking a shot off his foot. He's day-to-day, but then again, aren't we all? But anyway . . . if I'm an NFL scout, I'd want Adrian Dater to be my team's top receiver as he seems to be physically incapable of dropping anything. [Twitter / @adater]
  • The best response? From your favorite Blackhawks fan and mine . . . [Twitter / @HawksBearsCubs]
  • Welp, AT&T customers like me are still screwed at the DrinkScotch. Not that I go to many games, but . . . . (Well, more on that at the end of this post.) [SLGT]


  • Scores. Ten of them. Avalanche(s) over Oilers, Stars over Predators (SO), Coyotes lose to the Blue Jackets (OT), Wild(s) over Bruins (SO), etc. No one really helped the Blues last night, but if we're relying on help, we're relying on failure anyway. [ 04/08/14]
  • Sked. Five games, including the continuation of the Stars/Blue Jackets game that was postponed because of the situation with Rich Peverley not too long ago. Wednesday Night Rivalry? Penguins host the Red Wings, Ducks host the Sharks and I host a party in my brain or something. [ 04/09/14]
  • Standings. The Avs are now two points behind the Blues with three to play, and hold the ROW tiebreaker. Fuck it, let 'em have it and I'll take my chances with Chicago. Fucks not given either way there. [ Standings]
  • Mike Gillis . . . the Canucks told him he was "naga naga not gonna work here anymore, anyway". Earliest reports are that he will be replaced by Trevor Linden, who will select a GM. Remember, they just hired John Tortorella at the beginning of THIS season. So this'll be fun, surely. [Puck Daddy]
  • NHL Central Scouting has released their 2014 NHL Entry Draft rankings. Not that the Blues SHOULD care, but it's something to look at. [SLGT]
  • Think the Blues are fucked heading into the playoffs? Think of what the Lightning(s) will be if this Ben Bishop injury is serious. Ho. Lee. Shit. [Puck Daddy]
  • A young piano prodigy from Montreal was on Ellen recently, and is a huge Kings fan. Well, Jonathan Quick swung by to surprise the youngster, and the expression on his face is priceless. Awesome, awesome, awesome . . . even if you do hate the Kings and Quick. (S/T to Kate) [The Hockey News]
  • All Tennessee's governor has to do is sign a bill to abolish the "Jock Tax" in Tennessee. For hockey players, this "per-game" tax was paid by the owners as part of the new CBA. [The Tennessean]


  • Some Google Maps Street View images of some famous places from some famous album covers, with the album covers embedded within. This is pretty cool. (S/T to UIWWildThing) [The Guardian]
  • Derek the Joyless RA was just being sarcastic, you guys. (BULL. SHIT.) [Deadspin]
  • One major buzzkill for a burglary would be to butt-dial the cops so they could hear about the whole plan. Well, hey, here ya go. [Y! / AP]


First . . . in prior incarnations of SLGT links, this video has been posted before. But not this incarnation. THE best Nickelback parody ever:


And also . . . as we do have a few wrestling fans around here, you might've heard that Jim Hellwig, better known as "The Ultimate Warrior", passed away yesterday. Here's a speech he did Monday in acceptance of his WWE Hall of Fame honor. He didn't look or sound good, honestly, which is not shocking considering his past demons. (S/T to @ChrisAhner):

Also from Chris . . . his speech in image/text form. Very creepy, considering what happened next.

And I'm gone. I hope to return Monday, but that's not for sure yet. Thursday thru Sunday, for sure, you get J-Mill. So send him links, videos and stuff:

In better news . . . I'm rolling into St. Louis on Sunday morning and I will be in attendance for the Blues-Red Wings game (sitting with my podcasting partner-in-crime, the one and only CrossCheckRaise), so I hope to see some of you there!

Also, speaking of the podcast . . . Beyond Checkerdome Episode 38 goes up this afternoon (this morning, for iTunes and other podcast service subscribers). And the two of us are recording IN PERSON next week. Because America.

Also of note . . . we recorded a bit with Jason and Chris from the Blues Hockey Podcast on Sunday (good dudes, by the way, and you should listen to their podcast, it's very well done . . . this ain't a damn competition), and that's supposed to go up tomorrow night. We'll keep you posted on that, for sure. Well, someone will . . . I'll be on a plane, probably.