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Wednesday Links - Oh, Here We Friggin' Go Again . . . .

Those assholes up north that wear red . . . they won their series. No, I'm not talking about the Wild(s). You know who I'm talking about. And other things, but seriously . . . Fuck Chicago, man.

This guy was pretty good last night.
This guy was pretty good last night.
Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports

Guhhhgghghghhhhgggg.

Hey Kaner . . . where was this shit in Sochi, bud?

BLUES NEWS:

  • As had been suspected, the Blues hired former pretty-Goddamn-good NHLer, Canadiens assistant and (most recently) Hurricanes bench boss Kirk Muller, signing him to a two-year deal. One would assume he'll be in charge of the power play. [SLGT]
  • It's rumo(u)red that the Maple Leafs and Senators are shopping their Captains. For the Leafs, that'd be defenseman Dion Phaneuf and his seven-year contract, while for the Sens, center Jason Spezza and his expiring contract would be up for grabs. Should the Blues look into these folks? Hildy has thoughts, as do you. [SLGT]
  • You think you're gonna predict goaltending performance? You're kinda silly then, and CanesAndBluesFan has your proof. [SLGT]
  • "You asked for stupid shit. How's this! The Blues new logo and phrase: 'Break the Puck Off!'" (S/T to Steve Lane for this submission.) [SBN Images]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • The Rangers completed the comeback from 3-1 down in the series to take out the Penguins 2-1 in Game Seven in Pittsburgh. Looks like there could be a bloody mess in the 'Burgh after this one. [PensBurgh]
  • *BREAKS TABLE* [Hockey Wilderness]
  • Tonight, the Canadiens and Bruins will be in Boston to decide their series. Meanwhile, the Ducks have a chance to eliminate the Kings at Staples in Game Six, and if recent history is any indication . . . well, they probably should go ahead and do that. [NHL.com 05/14/14]
  • Ryan Lambert is everywhere . . . even Deadspin now. He writes about how player-tracking technology is coming to hockey and how it will change everything. [Deadspin]
  • LeBrun is a bit long-winded, but this is about Teemu Selanne, so . . . fuck you, read it. [ESPN]
  • The French hockey team can't seem to stop losing at the IIHF World Championships. THE FRENCH. WITHOUT PHILLIPE BOZON. [IIHF Worlds 2014]

OTHER SHIT:

  • The guy who is credited with creating the iconic "xenomorph" creature from the Alien movies passed away yesterday. The ultra-talented Swissman, H.R. Giger, was 74. May he rest in peace. (S/T to @hmilfeld) [The Verge]
  • This guy could've gotten a toilet tank at a junkyard. Instead, he went to a local Subway. Jared Fogle is not impressed. [Y! / Reuters]
  • A zip code map of NBA fandom in the United States. Some interesting results. Like I, for instance, live amongst Lakers fans. Which is weird, considering all the Heat(s) and Bulls gear I see around this fucking place . . . . [Deadspin / Regressing]

VIDEO:

The Cardinals beat the Cubs last night, and the winning run was scored on a walkoff hit by pitch at the . . . ummmmmm, hands? . . . of Greg Garcia. For some reason, that finish reminded me of THIS scene from Major League 2 (which, while a decent movie, will NEVER top the original Major League):

He sure took one for the team, alright.

You've got things to send me that I'd like to post for the whole wide world to see, so hey, just do that, will ya? I'll help you out: