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Tuesday Links - Le Fart Noise

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Three more years of Moose. Postseason bracket contest update. Grading the Blues' forwards. Shrewd-spending Blues? The Habs may be fucked. The best eulogy thus far. Thunderstorm supercell formations. Sinkholes in Nashville. And . . . DARKPLACE. Hi.

That's some damn good product placement for Nike/Bauer, eh?
That's some damn good product placement for Nike/Bauer, eh?
Bruce Bennett

So did anything happen yesterday?

BLUES NEWS:

  • The Blues inked Brian Elliott to a three-year deal worth $2.5MM against the cap. For a team looking to fill holes in other areas of the ice, with knowledge that they want Jake Allen to earn a permanent spot on the club next season, this is an excellent deal for both sides . . . it also closes the door on any possibility of Ryan Miller returning to the club in 2014-15. [SLGT]
  • J-Mill gives us an update on the postseason bracket contest. It's not shown . . . but it ain't pretty for yours truly. [SLGT]
  • We start our postseason grades of team individuals! The forwards were split into two parts. The defensemen and goaltenders will be covered later. [SLGT; SLGT]
  • Analytics show that the Blues get more bang for their buck than any other team, at least in the last few seasons. If that only translated to solid playoff success . . . anyway, Glenn Davis of USA Today spoke with GM Doug Armstrong about this. (S/T to CanesAndBluesFan) (AND NOW WITH 100 PERCENT MORE CORRECT LINKS! Oops.) [USA Today]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • So after it was announced that Carey Price would miss the rest of the Eastern Conference Finals . . . [Puck Daddy]
  • . . . Le Fart Noise was produced. The Canadiens scored the game's opening goal, but then allowed the equalizer 17 seconds later, a game-winner from Rick Nash in the next period and an insurance tally to give the Rangers a 3-1 victory and a 2-0 series lead heading to Manhattan. [Blueshirt Banter]
  • No games tomorrow. Seriously, this Conference Finals schedule is fucked up. Take a look at it sometime.
  • Is Jonathan Toews better than Sidney Crosby? Ryan Lambert flatly says "no" in this week's What We Learned. Fancy stats notwithstanding . . . personally, I disagree. But probably because THE BLUES COULD'VE HAD TOEWS INSTEAD OF FUCKING ERIK JOHNSON. [Puck Daddy]
  • Victor Coleman either seems damn intent on getting an NHL or NBA team in Seattle or he wants to squat on some land to flip it to someone who actually WILL intend to bring one of these entities to Seattle. (I'm leaning more on the former here but only because GODDAMNIT BRING HOCKEY TO SEATTLE YOU SONS OF BITCHES) [KING 5]
  • By far, the best Puck Daddy Eulogy this spring (thus far) comes from The Royal Half, while frying the Ducks to a crisp. [Puck Daddy]

OTHER SHIT:

  • Because the eastern half of Wyoming is basically high desert flatland, thunderstorms are a-plenty there in the spring. Here's a time lapse of the supercell that built from Wright, WY to Newcastle, WY and later led to tornadoes in Nebraska and Iowa. (Let's put it this way . . . there's a National Grassland between Wright and Newcastle. So, yeah, flat land.) (WARNING: AUTOPLAY VIDEO) [Y! / The Sideshow]
  • Apparently there are a lot of sinkholes in NashVegas. Austin Peay State University, in Nashville, has a few of those . . . and because of those sinkholes, they're having some issues completing renovations to their football stadium. But Jeebus, look at THIS behemoth in the north end zone. "TOUCHDOWN, GOVERNORS! AND HOLY SHIT, HE'S IN A PIT OF DESPAIR!" [Deadspin]

VIDEO:

Sunday night, Kate introduced me to an old BBC Channel 4 series (that only lasted six episodes, about ten years ago) called Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. I had no fucking clue what was going on, but I was quite intrigued. Concept? An insane horror writer gets his work turned into a TV series with poor (if any) editing. Here's the whole first episode (WARNING: 24 MINUTES LONG . . . BE SURE YOU HAVE SOME TIME SET ASIDE BEFORE WATCHING):

Fucked. Up. Mang.

So, theoretically, you have links, videos and shit to post. Send it to me, and get credit for it! Two ways to do it:

More player report cards, broken down by position . . . coming up soon.