Can we just go back to last night's NHL schedule? And stick with that until...say...October?
No? Well balls...
- CCR must be looking to stockpile spare sticktaps for the offseason - his first contribution addresses the elephant that just left the room for unrestricted free agency: what went wrong with the Ryan Miller Experiment? [The Hockey News]
- Elsewhere in the world, Vladimir Sobotka, who was knocked out of the World Championships quarterfinals by a Fuck Detroit cheap shot to the head, says he expects to play in today's semifinal match for his native Czech Republic against Finland. The other semifinal this morning is Russia-Sweden...if you're into that sort of thing. [IIHF.com]
- There was no Blackhawks-Kings game last night. So who won? [America]
- Who should sit tonight for Those Fuckers Up North? [Second City Hockey]
- A big boost for Those Assholes Out West: the emergence of Jake Muzzin. [Jewels from the Crown]
- The three candidates for 2013-14 GM of the Year are Montreal's Marc Bergevin, Anaheim's Bob Murray, an Asshole out West, Dean Lombardi. Who should win? [Puck Daddy]
- New York Rangers "hockey player" Daniel Carcillo has a brand new suspension to play with - a solid 10 games for making contact with an official. You should be rooting for the Canadiens to win just because they're the only team left who hasn't paid that shitstain to do stupid shit. [NHL.com]
- Not to say that the Habs are francophone saints either. Brandon Prust earned 2 game himself for breaking Derek Stepan's jaw with a hit of "extreme lateness." [NHL Department of Player Safety]
- NBCSports aired pieces of Michel Therrien's press conference, some of which was en francais, so Keith Jones helped out by translating for the American audience. But the fact that Keith Jones speaks French apparently freaked out Jeremy Roenick so much he just had to up and leave to pick up the pieces of his mind. A hockey analyst can't handle someone speaking French? Do you have any idea what this means? America is finally on our way to having our very own Don Cherry! I mean, JR's wardrobe still has a ways to go, but white pants are a start. [Awful Announcing]
- Gary Bettman says that the NHL is not in an expansion mindset at this time, even though yeah they absolutely are. [Pro Hockey Talk]
- The Minnesota Wild celebrated the end of their season by allowing their fans to paint messages, pictures, or anything on the ice. A really cool gesture that I'm actually kind of glad the Blues don't do. If I got to paint pictures on the Scottrade ice, I'd end up filling the entire neutral zone with oh so many dicks. Just, like...all the dicks. CrossCheckRaise with another tapped stick. [Sporting News]
- Oh, and I guess you might want to see some JERSEY FOULS!!! [Puck Daddy]
- What if every school in the Big Ten were a character on Game of Thrones? I'd say they got them all spot on - and I sure as hell can't complain about Illinois being Bronn! (I'm throwing this up today because there is no GoT episode tomorrow, FTR.) [Sherman Ave]
- Everyone has heard stories about human kids raised by wolves and how it affected their behavior. But how would a dog's behavior be affected if she were raised by cats? We now know the answer, according to the husky in these photos: adorable as hell. [Lift Bump]
- Take a seat, Super Bowl - the actual biggest annual sporting event on Earth is this afternoon, as the European Champions League final will see the biggest team in the world, Real Madrid (who played at The Dome just last summer), looking to win their record 10th European title against their inner city rival, upstarts and Spanish Champions Atletico Madrid. For the basics of what you need to know, here's SBNation's gorgeous fancy-shmancy preview. [SBNation Soccer]
- Do you drink and/or get high? Don't worry, it's human nature, and according to a new study, prehistoric humans did too. Science Saturday returns with a vengeance! [Huff Post]
You're right, you won't be able to top that video, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try!
- jasonmcadams1120 AT gmail DOT com