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Tuesday Links - John Brooks is a Saint

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Dumbshit mock drafts. No dynasty. Mayoral Fuck Word. Bylsma in FLA? Thornton leaving Boston. Rags Eulogy. Malone in court. Hockey hugs. Arbitration. Compliance buyouts. Stars over IceCaps. AMERICA. RIP, Tony Gwynn. Breaking Grandma? And wieners dogs!

Oh man, this guy was magnificent.
Oh man, this guy was magnificent.
Laurence Griffiths

Hello out there. We're on the air. It's something night tonight.

BLUES NEWS:

  • Not really Blues news, but . . . check out this guy's assessment of the Blues for this mock draft. He mentions Ryan Miller, despite the fact that RYAN MILLER IS NOT SIGNING WITH THE BLUES AND THAT'S ALREADY BEEN CONFIRMED YOU DUMB FUCK. Though, I mean, I guess he's right, Ryan Miller isn't getting any younger and THE BLUES ALREADY HAVE TWO HIGH-END GOALTENDING PROSPECTS IN THEIR SYSTEM YOU DIPSHIT, ONE OF WHICH WILL BE PLAYING FOR THE BIG CLUB NEXT SEASON YOU FUCKING ASSHAT. (S/T to Crazy Art Lippo) (WARNING: I WANT AUTOPLAY VIDEOS TO BE STABBED IN THE FUCKING EYEBALLS.) [CSN Philly]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • The Kings aren't a dynasty yet. Well no shit, Ryan Lambert. That and more in this week's What We Learned. [Puck Daddy]
  • Meanwhile, the Kings had their parade yesterday. Fart noise. The mayor said the Fuck word at the rally. Apparently that's a big deal. Double fart noise. [LA Daily News]
  • The Panthers have narrowed their coaching search to Marc Crawford and Dan Bylsma. Which is good news for Marc Crawford, as he won't be the next coach of the Panthers if they are smart. [Puck Daddy]
  • DEAR DOUG ARMSTRONG: No. [Boston Globe]
  • Remembering the New York Rangers in the only way a Flyers fan can . . . by writing a eulogy. Mind you, the Flyers hit said golf course six weeks earlier. [Puck Daddy]
  • Lightning(s) forward Ryan Malone wrote a "Not Guilty" plea to his charges of DUI and cocaine possession stemming from his arrest in April for said charges. [Tampa Bay Times]
  • The last Hockey Hugs of the season, once again, wouldn't have featured the Blues even if the Blues had been playing at that point because apparently ACT LIKE YOU BEEN THERE BEFORE . . . yeah, fuck that nonsense. [Puck Daddy]
  • Wanna know why the Avalanche(s) aren't going to re-sign Paul Stastny? Well, Ryan O`Reilly might be why, and they've elected to take him to arbitration. [TSN]
  • The Stars will use a compliance buyout on Aaron Rome after putting him on waivers yesterday for the purposes of doing just that. [CBS Sports Eye on Hockey]
  • Another Travis Morin OT goal has the IceCaps on the brink in their series with the Texas Stars. The 4-3 victory puts the Stars one win away from the Calder Cup. [CBC]

WORLD CUP:

  • In their opening World Cup Group G match, Team USA defeated Ghana 2-1 on the power of a brilliant first-minute finish by Clint Dempsey and a beautiful header by John Brooks on an excellent corner ball. Next up, Portugal on Saturday. [SB Nation]
  • The Univision call of Brooks' goal is excellent. It's the third video on this post. Brooks' reaction was excellent, too. [Deadspin / Screamer]

OTHER SHIT:

  • The greatest baseball hitter of my childhood generation, Tony Gwynn, passed yesterday at the way-too-young age of 54. Money quote of this piece, and it's magnificent: "Greg Maddux once explained that you could trick any hitter into not being able to read the speed of a pitch—'Except for that fucking Tony Gwynn.'" RIP. [Deadspin]
  • Bryan Cranston as . . . California Grandpa in . . . Breaking Grandma. [Y! / AP]

VIDEO:

I don't even know what's going on here, but dachshunds are great:

The greatest, even.

Got some links? Got some videos? Got some stupid shit? Then I got some credit to give you . . . but ya gotta send it forth first! Two ways to do that: