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Weird Al sings about sports. Other things too, but why would you care about any of those?

"I gotta chat with these people? Online?!?"
"I gotta chat with these people? Online?!?"
Bruce Bennett

Link break: click 'em if you got 'em...or you can just bum some off of me if you want. [Under breath] Moocher...

BLUES NEWS:

  • Missed this yesterday, but Doug Armstrong had himself a chat with Blues fans about the off-season thus far. Sticktaps go to CanesAndBluesFan for reminding me! [STLToday]
  • In another turn of the Sobe, a translated statement from Vladimir Sobotka's new-new agent makes it sound like he plans on playing one year in the KHL before making his triumphant return to North America with a different NHL team. I'm going to have to write a full piece about this whole situation the next few days, but in the mean time the short answer is "Fuck off, Vladdi!" [Frozen Notes]
  • T.J. Oshie is a very unlucky golfer, apparently. [Deadspin]
HOCKEY NEWS:
  • The Nashville Predators have gone after some low hanging fruit this summer, as is their wont. But could their fruit bear sweet...juice, I guess? Just finish that analogy however you want. [SBNation NHL]
  • The Red Wings have had a harder time signing new free agents the last couple of years, and some say part of the reason is that players don't want to play for Mike Babcock. Mike Babcock thinks you're full of shit. [Pro Hockey Talk]
  • Martin Brodeur has started looking at what he might want to do when he's finished playing hockey...which is nice, since he's been finished for 3-4 years now. Also, he's still looking for a team. Aren't we all, Marty...aren't we all.  [NHL.com]
  • Have some inside looks at what the new NHL 15 will look like for the next gen systems...goddamnit, I'm going to have to buy a next gen, aren't I? [Puck Daddy]
  • We usually, as a rule, link to anything on Bleacher Report. (Why? Because you're welcome, that's why.) But this piece is ardently calling for the death of Goals Against Average as a "meaningful" stat for goaltenders, so at least it's trying to say a smart thing. Sticktap to "Brian Light." [Bleacher Report]
  • UUGGGGGHHH...FIIIIIIIINE...watch Tyler Seguin get a golf ball hit off of his dick. Good goddman, I hate the off-season... [SBNation Look It]
OTHER SHIT:
  • Do you have free will or are you already under the complete control of an evil machine overlord? If you dare, learn about the thought experiment that has literally made Ph D's physically ill just thinking about it: Roko's Basilisk. (Sticktap to CanesAndBluesFan. you brave soul, you.) [Slate]
  • Legendary radio host and recently deceased Casey Kasem's remains have been stolen from the funeral home where there were. Sickening. [Yahoo.com]
  • Have you ever heard the wives tail that the more you shave, the thicker your hair/beard grows back? Well first of all, that's bullshit. Secondly, a man in Milwaukee is willing to put his money where his mouth is to prove it's bullshit. The only thing he needs is YOU!* ....*assuming you are a woman without a bear who's willing to shaver her face for three months. [Best of Craigslist]
VIDEOS:


If you've been on the internet even a little bit this week, you know that Weird Al is back and back with a polka-infused vengeance! Yesterday was day 5 of his #8VideosIn8Days, and I would like to unofficially declare it the new Blues goal song!







It's Science Saturday at last! Let us rejoice by learning about the some hockey physics, specifically: slap shots! (Sticktap to CrossCheckRaise)









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