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Monday Links - Will It Be Pie, Cake or Death?

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Vanelli. Dutchie. Awesome goalie masks. Honeymoon signings. Bleeding money out of a turnip. Five Hole For Food. BFiB party foul. So Ill dumbass. Baseball dumbass. Pie or cake? Cake or death? Star Wars drinking song. And Fat Bottomed Girls. Monday.

Probably not the first time Lee Stempniak was ever planted on his ass.
Probably not the first time Lee Stempniak was ever planted on his ass.
Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sport

J-Mill apologizes for not having links yesterday. Just didn't have time for it. Shit happens.

You survived anyway. And now you get links!

It's a slow offseason.

BLUES NEWS:

  • Nothing, really, but Lou has a bit on Blues prospect Tommy Vannelli . . . who says his move from being a Minnesota Gopher hockey commit to the WHL's Medicine Hat Tigers was beneficial. [In the Slot / Lou Korac]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • Our old pal Dutchie, Lee Stempniak, signed a one-year deal with the (L)Eastern Conference champion Rangers yesterday. Which means we could see him in the home opener. [USA Today]
  • Speaking of the Rags . . . I know Average Joe (and several other SLGT folks) will fucking love the mask of Cam Talbot, as he one-ups his Ghostbusters-themed mask from last year. [CBS Sports Eye on Hockey]
  • Meanwhile, David Moss took time off from his honeymoon to sign a one-year deal with the Phoenix Arizona Coyotes yesterday. [azcentral.com]
  • So apparently the Ilitch Family has a "bold vision" for the new arena district in Detroit. Oh, you mean aside from needlessly bleeding money from a shithole city that could really use the money elsewhere these days? [USA Today]
  • So, so, SO awesome. The Canadian "Five Hole For Food" initiative has taken in one million pounds of food donations this year. Using street hockey. Awesome, awesome, awesome. [Puck Daddy]

OTHER SHIT:

  • BEST FANS IN BASEBALL. PARTY FOUL. [Deadspin]
  • Considering this occurred in the deep southern portion of Illinois, I guess I shouldn't be TOO stunned someone down there could be this fucking stupid. [Y! / AP]
  • Or, y'know, you can tell your team to NOT BE DIPSHITS AND DON'T PLAY IN A SHIFT THAT WOULD LEAVING THE POSSIBILITY OF A BUNT SINGLE SO WIDE THE FUCK OPEN. Moron. [SB Nation]
  • Pie vs. cake . . . played out by the writers at Vox. Me? #TeamPie, all the way. Unless you take the options of the first video of the day into account. (S/T to J-Mill) [Vox]

VIDEOS:

THREE of 'em today. First . . . the end of the cliffhanger from "Other Shit" . . . it's Eddie Izzard! He has an important question. (S/T to J-Mill):

Well, if given THAT option . . . #TeamNotDeath.

Next, the greatest Star Wars drinking song of all time. (S/T to Childhood Trauma):

Drink!

Finally, possibly the most hilarious cover of "Fat Bottomed Girls" you will EVER see and hear. (S/T to Kate):

GET ON YOUR BIKES AND RIDE.

Links? Videos? Other shit? You know what to do: