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Monday Links - Will It Be Pie, Cake or Death?

Vanelli. Dutchie. Awesome goalie masks. Honeymoon signings. Bleeding money out of a turnip. Five Hole For Food. BFiB party foul. So Ill dumbass. Baseball dumbass. Pie or cake? Cake or death? Star Wars drinking song. And Fat Bottomed Girls. Monday.

By Donut King

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Probably not the first time Lee Stempniak was ever planted on his ass.
Probably not the first time Lee Stempniak was ever planted on his ass.
Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sport

J-Mill apologizes for not having links yesterday. Just didn't have time for it. Shit happens.

You survived anyway. And now you get links!

It's a slow offseason.

BLUES NEWS:

  • Nothing, really, but Lou has a bit on Blues prospect Tommy Vannelli . . . who says his move from being a Minnesota Gopher hockey commit to the WHL's Medicine Hat Tigers was beneficial. [In the Slot / Lou Korac]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • Our old pal Dutchie, Lee Stempniak, signed a one-year deal with the (L)Eastern Conference champion Rangers yesterday. Which means we could see him in the home opener. [USA Today]
  • Speaking of the Rags . . . I know Average Joe (and several other SLGT folks) will fucking love the mask of Cam Talbot, as he one-ups his Ghostbusters-themed mask from last year. [CBS Sports Eye on Hockey]
  • Meanwhile, David Moss took time off from his honeymoon to sign a one-year deal with the Phoenix Arizona Coyotes yesterday. [azcentral.com]
  • So apparently the Ilitch Family has a "bold vision" for the new arena district in Detroit. Oh, you mean aside from needlessly bleeding money from a shithole city that could really use the money elsewhere these days? [USA Today]
  • So, so, SO awesome. The Canadian "Five Hole For Food" initiative has taken in one million pounds of food donations this year. Using street hockey. Awesome, awesome, awesome. [Puck Daddy]

OTHER SHIT:

  • BEST FANS IN BASEBALL. PARTY FOUL. [Deadspin]
  • Considering this occurred in the deep southern portion of Illinois, I guess I shouldn't be TOO stunned someone down there could be this fucking stupid. [Y! / AP]
  • Or, y'know, you can tell your team to NOT BE DIPSHITS AND DON'T PLAY IN A SHIFT THAT WOULD LEAVING THE POSSIBILITY OF A BUNT SINGLE SO WIDE THE FUCK OPEN. Moron. [SB Nation]
  • Pie vs. cake . . . played out by the writers at Vox. Me? #TeamPie, all the way. Unless you take the options of the first video of the day into account. (S/T to J-Mill) [Vox]

VIDEOS:

THREE of 'em today. First . . . the end of the cliffhanger from "Other Shit" . . . it's Eddie Izzard! He has an important question. (S/T to J-Mill):

Well, if given THAT option . . . #TeamNotDeath.

Next, the greatest Star Wars drinking song of all time. (S/T to Childhood Trauma):

Drink!

Finally, possibly the most hilarious cover of "Fat Bottomed Girls" you will EVER see and hear. (S/T to Kate):

GET ON YOUR BIKES AND RIDE.

Links? Videos? Other shit? You know what to do:

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