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Friday Links: Happy Belated Batman Day!

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Don't hire Joe Sacco, don't win games & miss out on McDavid, don't cyberbully, don't die watching The Simpsons, but do build a fart cannon.

The Blues, not being physical enough I guess, I don't know
The Blues, not being physical enough I guess, I don't know
Jonathan Daniel

As Snoop Dogg once said, "Click it like it's hot!"

...I don't know why he said that, doesn't make any sense and it wasn't how his song was supposed to go...but who are we to argue with D-O-double G?

BLUES NEWS:

  • This is a couple days old, but JR sees the Carl Gunnarsson-for-Roman Polak trade as making the choice to, as the headline says, "pass, not hit." Which is oddly out of character for JR, seeing as if you're passing the puck, you have the puck, whereas if you're going for a hit, the other team more than likely has the puck. He also claims that the Blues were criticized for "not being physical enough" against Chicago, which unless I've suffered massive head trauma, is the first I've heard of that. [STLToday]
  • In our neck of the Inter-woods, Hildy takes a look at the "I'm Coming Home" team assigned for the Blues...and...well, that is definitely a team that could fight for a playoff spot (in the AHL). [SLGT]
  • Fuck Patrick Kane. Not for this. This is kind of funny. But still...fuck him. Patrick Kane, that is. [SLGT]
HOCKEY THINGS:
  • An old couple are suing the Los Angeles Kings for "loss of enjoyment of sexual relations." I would very much be interested in joining a class action lawsuit for these heinous crimes. (Sticktap to Art Lippo, via DK.) [Sports Illustrated]
  • Down Goes Brown went through every team's Wikipedia page to find the most ridiculous/depressing quotes and items for each. Some of these are golden. Spoiler alert, though: the Blues entry didn't take very long to dig up. [Grantland]
  • The Montreal Canadiens avoided arbitration with our old pal Lars Eller, signing Skeet to a 4 year deal worth approximately $3.5 mill per year. [Habs Eyes on the Prize]
  • ...then everyone's favorite "hockey insider," hockeyyinsiderr, picked a bad time to throw around his bullshit. And by "bad time" I mean "fuck that guy, this is hilarious!" [Twitter]
  • Two years ago the Avalanche were terrible, so they fired their coach Joe Sacco. Last year, the Buffalo Sabres were terrible, so they fired Joe Sacco. Yesterday the Boston Bruins hired Joe Sacco as an assistant coach. So basically, Sarah Connors should be pretty worried. Just sayin'... [Puck Daddy]
  • The Avs suffered a nightmare, losing at home in game 7 to the Wild last year. This year, they'll be looking to avoid that experience. Which is good because they probably will, by missing the playoffs entirely. [Pro Hockey Talk]
  • Next year's draft golden egg is Connor McDavid, aka, Connor McHockey (MvsW FTW!). So the question is: who's going to "Not Bother; Get Connor!" *** next year? (***trademark pending.) [The Hockey News]
  • You know, we've had a lot of laughs here today. But you know what's not a laughing matter? Cyber bulling hockey bloggers. Even crazy, sexist, Benghazi-conspiracy-theorist nut-jobs with unfortunate taste in screen names who subtweet you daily. Our brothers (and sister) at Battle of Cali have this PSA for you. [Battle of California]
OTHER BULLSHIT:
  • I was going to mention that I was upset that I didn't get to link for you guys on Batman Day, which was earlier this week. But then I remembered the obvious: everyday is Batman Day! In any case, who was the best live-action Batman? Turns out...all of them. Here's why: [Dorkly]
  • Unless you've sworn off the Internet for the past 2 weeks (in which case, welcome back - we took all your stuff to Goodwill because we didn't know if you'd come pick them up or not), you know that Weird Al Yankovic released a new album last week. Mandatory Fun is now the number 1 album in the US on the Billboard chart, making it the first comedy album to be number 1 in FIFTY-ONE YEARS! [Variety]
  • This man is my hero - I can't remember a point in my life when I didn't have a practical, everyday use for a giant Fart Cannon! [The Mary Sue]
  • FXX will begin their deal to syndicate The Simpsons with a complete marathon featuring EVERY SINGLE EPISODE EVER MADE starting August 21st at 9am central and going until midnight on September 1st. 12 days. 552 episodes (plus the movie) in order. I promise you, a month from now you'll hear reports of people dying on their couches from sleep deprivation. [The Daily Beast]
VIDEOS:


Banjo-Kazooie on Nintendo 64 was the shit! This guy pulls off a one-man-band cover of the game's theme song perfectly.







Jimmy Fallon is very talented non-threatening. He also has a lot of extremely talented friends he invites on his show to do awesome things. This is an awesome thing: having 6-time Tony Award winner and songbird sing some very stupid Yahoo! Answers.











People being stupid on the Internet is a lot more tolerable when a Broadway legend croons them. Next, Patti LuPone should sing Ryan Lambert's Twitter mentions.


HEY! You there! Yeah I'm talking to you, asshole! ...I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, *sigh* I've just been under some stress lately, but that doesn't give me the right to lash out at you...but still, send me some links!
  • jasonmcadams1120 AT gmail DOT com
  • @JMill1120