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Monday Open Bar - Hockey Doldrums

There's almost (but NOT quite) literally fucking nothing to talk about. So I'm not going to waste your time too much this morning.

By Donut King
This guy really knows how to run a charity ping pong tournament.
This guy really knows how to run a charity ping pong tournament.
Bruce Bennett

Yeah, motherfuck the offseason. I can't really blame J-Mill for not putting anything up yesterday. Next to nothing happened.

Anyway. Here's a few things:

  • The Rangers and A**** W**** . . . errrrr, Derick Brassard . . . avoided arbitration, agreeing to a $25MM extension over five years. That seems like a lot for . . . uhhhhh, that guy, does it not? [CBS Sports Eye on Hockey]
  • Speaking of the Rangers . . . Dominic Moore and friends raised a shit-ton of money for charity at a table tennis-themed fundraiser called "Smashfest" at a Toronto brewery, including over $100,000 for the Katie Moore foundation. FUCK CANCER. [Puck Daddy]
  • The Maple Leafs hiring Kyle Dubas is quite the opposite of an "Old Boys' Network" hire. That probably isn't a horrible thing. [Puck Daddy]
  • Speaking of the Leafs . . . the last sentence of this obituary: "It was Terry's last wish that his pallbearers be the Toronto Maple Leafs so they could let him down one last time." (It wasn't the Leafs themselves, but a bunch of friends in Leafs sweaters. Close enough.) [Lifenews.ca]
  • Is P.K. Subban breaking tradition by drinking from Lord Stanley's Cup before he's ever won it? No, probably not, because he used a straw and never touched the damn thing. (Also, watch Seth Rogen drink a bunch of beer from the Stanley Cup . . . WITH THE HELP OF P.K. SUBBAN!) [Puck Daddy]
  • It was Hall of Fame weekend in Cooperstown. Greg Maddux told fart jokes. [Deadspin]
  • Frank Thomas, on the other hand, was very emotional. [Deadspin]
  • If you're able to hold in a shit and a piss for a while AND you have $1.5MM burning a hole in your pocket, the town of Aladdin, Wyoming may be for you! [Y! / Odd News]
  • And finally, your video. NFL training camps got underway last week, and I'm a bit of a football nut . . . noted football blogger Matt Ufford runs down the five most forgettable quarterbacks of the 1990's. If there were a "halcyon days" of forgettable quarterbacks, it would have been the 1990's:

HEY, CHECK IT OUT! IT'S MARK MCGWIRE'S BROTHER!

Let's make tomorrow's links better! Send your links, videos and other shit my way:

Also, a new episode of Beyond Checkerdome comes your way later this week.

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