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Tuesday Links - No Off Position for the Stupidity Switch

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Lots of links today, but please do remember . . . while "Worldwide Pants" is right about there being no off position for the genius switch, the same can be said for the stupidity switch. Enjoy your day, kids. "Fuck" is a beautiful word.

Someone should probably go ahead and pay this guy.
Someone should probably go ahead and pay this guy.
Greg Bartram-USA TODAY Sports

So Dave Roush emailed me last night. He's a Blues fan transplant to Chicago. Not one of ours, but does get to read our stuff on occasion. Seems like a cool dude.

And he did a pretty solid job with the Summer of Disappointment post. (Though J-Mill would've knocked it out of the park, I believe. But I'm biased.)

Anyway, let us continue.

BLUES NEWS:

  • Sergey Andronov, who kinda muddled about for two years in the AHL (Rivs and Wolves, obviously), will head back to CSKA Moscow of the KHL next season. [SLGT]
  • Brett Hull turns 50 on Saturday. Where the FUCK is my childhood going to? [StL Today]
  • The Blues are mostly hated in Illinois (because I'm not there anymore, I guess?) and Indiana (because, well, fuck most of Indiana anyway) Oddities? Alabama hates the Canucks, while Wyoming hates the Senators among a sea of Red Wings hate. [SLGT FanShots]
  • Jake Allen has as good a shot as Brian Elliott to take the starting job this year. What are the fantasy implications of such an advancement? [Dobber Hockey]
  • CanesAndBluesFan with another beauty, this time on shot differential and--numbers-wise--why it matters. [SLGT]
  • Some asshat Blue Jackets fan with probably the dumbest screen name in SBN history . . . thinks we say the word "fuck" too much, or at least wants to know why. I gave him a two-word answer. Make it blue. (This guy is proof that there IS no off position for the stupidity switch, by the way. Hence today's title.) [SLGT]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • You might have heard that P.K. Subban got PPPAAAAAAAIIIIIIIDDDDDD by the Canadiens recently. But he could've gotten more. But he's nice, and he loves playing for the Habs. So, y'know, there ya go. That and more in Ryan Lambert's weekly What We Learned piece. [Puck Daddy]
  • Fuck Gary Bettman. [CBS Sports Eye on Hockey]
  • Swiss tennis legend Roger Federer is a big hockey fan. He just can't play it very well. [Puck Daddy]
  • Jackets young awesome forward Ryan Johansen and the team are "hectares" apart in their attempt to reach a bridge RFA deal. I honestly don't know if an offer sheet would be legal within the CBA in this case (and I really don't care enough to look it up right now), but if it is, I would FUCKING LAUGH FOR DAYS if someone went and did one here. If, for no other reason, just to piss off "saul overnow". God, what a dumb name that is. [Columbus Dispatch / Puck-Rakers]
  • Kiruna IF may become my favorite Swedish hockey team. [Puck Daddy]
  • "EVERYTHING IS AWESOOOOOOOOOOOME . . . EVERYTHING IS COOL WHEN YOU'RE PART OF A TEAM" -- Ducks goaltender Frederik Andersen, apparently [In Goal Magazine]
  • Puck Daddy's Summer of Disappointment Series continued yesterday with the New York Islanders . . . written by Lighthouse Hockey's Dan Saraceni. [Puck Daddy]

OTHER SHIT:

  • So, uh, here's where I'll be tonight. Not to make you jealous or anything. [Missoulian]
  • This reminds me of when Joe Strauss blocked me after I called him a douchebag (I believe for something about the Blues, ironically enough), then I got blocked by Allan Walsh for not agreeing with either him or one of his clients (what a gutless puke that guy is, anyway . . . fuck him). Surely, if you're on Twitter, you have a story to share about a sports personality that has blocked you . . . and why. [Deadspin]
  • A Minnesota town that barely exists had a 3-year-old mayor because of reasons. Now they have a 5-year-old that will be former mayor because of reasons. [Y! / AP]

VIDEO:

You may have to rewind this a few times to see it properly, but this is a Russian gal basically trying to behead a Team USA gal in a U16 game. Disgusting, despicable and fucking nasty. (S/T to @ChrisAhner):

Ugh. What an utter horseshit play.

You got links. You got videos. You got other weird shit. How about sending them along? Two easy ways to do it: