:format(webp)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/37662764/487117505.0.jpg)
September is here, and it truly is the greatest month. Temperatures start to drop, the leaves are turning, baseball starts to begin to get ready to almost be interesting, football dominates the weekends, and the best thing of all: NHL Training Camps. Here, everyone has a clean slate. Every team is full of promise and potential. Who'll make the team? Who'll start out in the AHL? Excitement is in the air, in every breath you take.
Just as the players have to prove themselves to prepare for the season, so should we as fans. You think you're ready for the season to start? Do ya? Here's a quiz for you to know for sure.
Holding The Stick is
A) a minor penalty
B) a beginner's puckhandling lesson
C) the only way Joe Thornton can communicate happiness
"The post" refers to
A) Canadian mail service
B) a support for the rink's glass panels
C) about 15 percentage points of Corey Crawford's SV%
Sudden Death is when
A) the next goal wins the game instantly
B) the horn ends the period
C) you find yourself in a scrap with David Backes
Flooding the Ice is
A) adding a top layer to the rink surface
B) when both teams fill the ice for pregame warmups
C) when female fans catch sight of Henrik Lundqvist
Tripping is
A) using your stick to cause an opponent to fall
B) traveling to see your team play away games
C) the best explanation for Ilya Bryzgalov
Teemu Selanne was a popular player because
A) consistent strong performance, regardless of his age, garnered respect around the league
B) dedication to the game, the fans, and even the press
C) really, being on the same team as Corey Perry would make even Gary Bettman seem warm and likable
The Blade is
A) what supports the player when they are skating
B) what players shun during the playoffs
A "Dry Scrape" is
A) a kind of injury
B) a type of ice maintenance
C) how a date with Patrick Kane often ends
The Trapezoid is
A) a marked-off area of the ice
B) a kind of defensive formation
C) a marketing buzzword to sell Minnesota Wild hockey during the team's first 10 years
"Sick Celly" refers to
A) a broken phone
B) a particularly jubilant goal celebration
C) where Mike Danton spent 5 and a half years
Icing is
A) an infraction that leads to a defensive zone faceoff
B) a popular fundraiser for fighting ALS
C) a major food group, according to Dustin Byfuglien
"Sauce" is lingo for
A) a great pass
B) a deke
C) what kept Nikolai Khabibulin alive his last few years in the league
A Power Play is
A) a man-advantage scoring opportunity for a team
B) a highlight-reel-quality move that results in a goal
C) Martin Brodeur at a family reunion
Intent to Blow is
A) a quirk of the rules, that allows an official to stop play in his head before there is a whistle
B) a team that obviously tanks for a better draft pick
C) Ryan Malone's offseason plans
A Waffleboard is
A) a piece of goalie equipment
B) how a trainer stabilizes an injured limb
C) Olli Jokinen's favorite part of the IHOP menu
The Minnesota Wild logo is
A) a bear
B) a wolf
C) a treasure map that shows where Craig Leipold hides his money whenever he needs to cry poor again
"Army Boner" refers to
A) when Blues fans get excited about a good signing or trade
B) the pride of celebrating the US Military during the season on Veterans Day
C) how another GM realizes that he's just been taken advantage of (again)
"On The Fly" describes
A) how teams rotate players during game play
B) when the team is on a lengthy road trip
C) How Joel Quenneville expresses his displeasure with an official
Takeaway is
A) a stat that measures turnovers
B) a concession that is won during contract negotiations
C) how Brendan Shanahan helps teammates handle their marital problems
Eric Cartman leads the "Go Kings Go" chant because
A) making him an Avs fan would be too obvious
B) the Kings are Hollywood's home team
C) he's big, obnoxious, self-centered, and fucking annoying - an obvious match
Hooking is
A) an illegal method of slowing down an opponent
B) something that T.J. Oshie is working hard to eliminate from his golf game
A Hat Trick is
A) a situation when the same player scores 3 goals in one game
2) a popular locker room practical joke
"Putting on the foil" refers to
A) the classic hockey movie "Slapshot"
B) How fans used to improve TV reception to watch hockey games back in the day
C) how Detroit fans prepare to discuss officiating and league decisions
"Shot Attempts" is
A) a method of tracking puck possession
B) a common pregame warmup drill for goalies
C) Tyler Seguin's method of tracking his weekend
Two Minute Minor is
A) a common penalty
B) a stoppage in play for small matters like ice maintenance
C) how Denver area strippers refer to Nathan MacKinnon
Give yourself 2 points for every (A) answer, 4 points for every (B), and 6 points for every (C). If you scored anything over 10, you are probably overachieving. Its Labor Day; what the heck are you doing math for? Relax - Hockey Is Almost Here. Have a beer and start training your liver.
Let's Go Blues!