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Saturday Links: Pens Bring Sexy Back

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There isn't a lot of photographic evidence of Ryan Whitney as a Blues from last year. But there's this.
There isn't a lot of photographic evidence of Ryan Whitney as a Blues from last year. But there's this.
Rob Foldy-USA TODAY Sports

You didn't need these at 6 am on a Saturday anyway, did you? Did you really?

BLUES NEWS:

  • For the second straight year, Ryan Whitney has been invited to Blues camp. Holy shnikes, is there a ton of competition for the bottom few roster spots! And then there's Paul Bissonnette. [Blues]
  • Hitch let the Blues sleep in on the first day of practices, which didn't start until 3. Oh sleeping in - one of the few things I love more than hockey. [STLToday]
  • The Blues are the 11th best franchise in all North American sports. Cool. [ESPN]
  • Part 2 of Why WOWY Won't Warrant ...uhh...Wecognition. [SLGT]
  • I'ma let you finish, Cam Neely, but Ty Rattie is the GREATEST Portland Winterhawk of ALL TIME! OF ALL TIME!!! Man, I hope he gets an actual chance to play this year. (Sticktap to CCR.) [Oregon Live]
HOCKEY NEWS:
  • The Penguins are bringing sexy back - by way of bringing back their Lemeiux-era jerseys as a third. Daaaaamn dey fine. [SBNation NHL]
  • Patrick Kane "knows" he can score 50 goals. Fuck that asshole. ...[is handed a note]... I'm sorry, it was Evander Kane who said he can score 50 goals. Well in that case, he's not an asshole. Just plain dumb. [Winnipeg Sun] (...but seriously...fuck Patrick Kane.)
  • Most prognosticators agree that the Blues and Those Fuckers Up North are the class of Conference III, with Minnesota not far behind. But the Dallas Stars look to be even better this year - are they as frightening as they look? [Puck Drunk Love]
  • Usually the host of the Olympics get an automatic qualification into every team sport, but with the next winter games in South Korea, the IIHF wanted to see their national team make significant improvements before granting them that honor. Apparently they've sufficiently not-sucked, as the IIHF has granted South Korea their spot. [IIHF]
  • This summer, the Sharks have done pretty much everything they could to piss off Joe Thornton. Yesterday, Joe Thornton was pissed. At this point, I wouldn't blame him if he just refused to waive his NTC totally out of spite. [Fear the Fin]
  • The Panthers emoji preview should just be Randy Moller yelling "I Am Groot!" because that's the only thing anyone should be looking forward to in Sunrise, Florida. Well, that and the daily perfect weather. And attractive people. And copious amounts of cocaine. [Puck Daddy]
  • Down Goes Brown has some new (hockey) year's resolutions for all hockey fans. I'm just going to say this openly: this is a good idea to steal be inspired by and make some Blues-specific resolutions. I might do just that. [Grantland]
REAL "NEWS":
  • This man is pushing a giant ball all the way across America, to raise awareness of balls. Specifically, testicular cancer. #FuckCancer (Sticktap to CCR.) [Mr. Ballsy]
  • Okay, I think we can all agree that building an actual Death Star would be a great idea. But what would it take to actually be able to destroy a planet? Well for starters, more energy in a single blast than the sun produces in an entire week. Now THIS is a Science Saturday! [Nerdist]
  • Alright, time to put you guys & gals to the test - How St. Louis Are You? [Fox 2]
VIDEOS:


Childhood Trauma uncovers historic references to the earliest metal concert in recorded human history - from the baroque era.







I always thought I was skilled at eating ice cream, but you know who's a genius at eating ice cream? Andy Kaufman.











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