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Saturday Links - Triple Jesus

If you're someone whose name rhymes with Grad Flee and you run a publication that rhymes with Paint Gluest Same Rhyme, you will likely not enjoy today's video. Also, Fuck Detroit.

Who are these guys? I barely know. Whatever. Fuck these guys.
Who are these guys? I barely know. Whatever. Fuck these guys.
Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports

BLUES NEWS:

  • More consistent 5-on-5 play is needed. What is Jake Allen's best save? Robert Bortuzzo is really bad but he almost scored. Magnus Paajarvi likes 3-on-3. Colton Parayko is still iffy. Lou expounds. Fuck Detroit. [In the Slot / Lou Korac]
  • The Blues got a reminder of the importance of the shootout. Or. Some shit. (Listen, until they decide playoff games with a shootout, it doesn't fucking matter.) Fuck Detroit. [StL Today / Morning Skate]

KNOW YOUR ENEMY--FUCK DETROIT:

  • Not that you WANT to, but if you WISH to see the Detroit side of things, SB Nation's Red Wings blog is over at Winging It in Motown. Fuck Detroit, though. [Winging It in Motown]
  • The Red Wings beat Those Assholes Out West (AKA "TAOW") last night, 3-2. Fuck all of these assholes. [NHL.com]

SCORES AND SCHEDULE:

  • There were six games last night, including the aforementioned. Fuck Detroit. [NHL.com 11/20/2015]
  • There are eleven contests today, and for once, all of them are at night on a Saturday. Oh, and Fuck Detroit. [NHL.com 11/21/2015]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • Even my wife, a noted not-exactly-liker of Sidney Crosby, doesn't hate Crosby as much as this Islanders fan. Jersey Foul! Wonder if this guy also hates Detroit. Fuck Detroit, man. [Puck Daddy]
  • Alex Ovechkin is awesome. He also probably doesn't like Detroit. Because who does? Fuck Detroit. [SB Nation]
  • Sergei Bobrovsky (BOBROVSKY!) is keying the Blue Jackets' return to normalcy, not that asshole behind the bench. Columbus hates Detroit. Fuck Detroit. [CBS Sports Eye on Hockey]
  • Not surprisingly, BOBROVSKY! played incredibly well last night in a shutout of the Predators, who also hate Detroit because Fuck Detroit. [USA Today]
  • Sure looks like James Reimer is the starting goaltender in Toronto. The Maple Leafs will go with him against the Bruins Saturday in Boston, a day after riding him to a shootout victory over the Hurricanes in Raleigh. Raleigh is probably better than Detroit. Fuck Detroit. [Sportsnet]
  • Less than a week after being cashiered by SC Bern of the Swiss League, former Lightning(s) coach Guy Boucher has been announced as head coach of Canada's Spengler Cup tournament team. The Spengler Cup is not in Detroit this year because Fuck Detroit. (Also, because it's always held in Switzerland, so meh.) [TSN]

OTHER SHIT:

  • The NFL is terrible. This "Color Rush" bullshit is terrible. So, fittingly, the uniforms the NFL has chosen to make the Cowboys and Panthers wear for their game on Thanksgiving are . . . yes, terrible. Y'know what else is terrible? Detroit. Fuck Detroit. [SB Nation / #Lookit]
  • Some Americans have threatened to move to Canada over the acceptance of Syrian refugees. (Mostly, these are idiots on Twitter, of course.) Problem for them, if they follow through, is . . . uhhhhh, Canada has pledged to accept refugees too. In fact, more of them. Whatever. Fuck Detroit. [NPR / Parallels]
  • What in the actual fuck is happening here? Fuck Detroit. [Deadspin / The Concourse]
  • Oreo Churros, eh? Everybody do the Diabetes Dance! Also, the Fuck Detroit dance. [Mental Floss]
  • Check out a BB-8 droid meeting a hedgehog. After you're done Fucking Detroit. [Nerdist]
  • We've probably all heard of putting uppers in your gym bag, but nothing like this, I'd think. Surprised this didn't happen in Detroit. Fuck Detroit. [Y! / AP]

VIDEO:

Some of you know my affinity for a band called The National. The frontman of that band, Matt Berninger, is part of a side project called EL VY. The opening line of their new single is fucking outstanding:

Yes, he said "Triple Jesus".

Fuck Detroit.

Hoosier Blue has your links tomorrow. I believe it's BluesMay on Monday.