The Penguins are a popular team to write about. We actually have an extra story that I couldn't fit in the paper. Gives you a bit of reaction from last night and looks at tonight's contest.
By The Ghost Of Oakland Avenue
This is my second Game Time article so continue to be gentle folks, and by gentle I mean, heavy petting and caressing are allowed this time.
First off, holy shit! They beat Boston!! I mean, that's huge considering the Cardinals and even the Rams haven't been able to run that headline since well, never! I gotta hand it to our home town boys for making me re-think how this team started versus how they finished. The team came out slow like the last few games and I could see the beautiful Rosacea marks flourishing on Hitchcock's face as he was either hungry for a mean pile of chocolate-covered bowl of Oshie-O's or a full 20 minutes of actual hockey as the team finally decided to put a shot on net with 7:24 left in the first period. The highlight of the first period was a tie between Cole's "non-hooking" hooking penalty and the...oh wait, that was the highlight of the first period.
Fortunately for us there must have been a "come to Jesus meeting" during the first intermission and everybody rallied behind Petteri Lindbohm to join the "Not Fucking Around Crew" and start playing and make the Bruins look like maybe they shouldn't have started Malcolm Subban in his first NHL start after they flew his parents in to see him get yanked after giving up three goals. No worries though, he got to jump back in the net to replace veteran netminder Tuukka Rask during the third period after a super cool switch was made when the Bruins head coach decided to use his only timeout of the game in the second period like zero coaches do in any hockey game.
Fast forward to a Blues finish and 5-1 victory.
Here we are tonight after a mini St. Louis winter storm and fans are ready for the Penguins to come in and lay down to take yet another loss. Except for the diehard fans of Sid "The Kid," he's 27 now so maybe he's just Sid "The Late Twenty-Something Guy." I say that due to the Pens record of late. Their last three games coming into this contest the Pens are 0-3 with a whopping three goals combined. Hey now you say, I like the Pens, they have some key players. You're right, so I'll look away from the highlight reel guys and focus on some potential guys that could have some effect in this game.
Do you like the name Chris or Kris? Well, the Penguins do and they have two of them. Chris Kunitz and Kris Letang have a combined 252 hits through 58 games which should say they aren't here to make nice with our Blues. They have a goaltender in Marc-Andre Fluery who we hope doesn't turn into Marc-Andre Flourish tonight and make us hate this Steel Town team even more.
Don't forget about our long lost favorite Blue No. 57 who makes his return with 20 games under his belt as a Penguins player. He has nine goals and four assists during his stay with the Pens but will always be one concussion away from getting toys for Christmas for the rest of his life....too soon?
The dark horse player for the Penguins has to be Mr. Rob Scuderi. Player notes on this cat say, "Rob Scuderi is making a difference this season on the Penguins blueline." I find that statement to be interesting since he's played 58 games and registered zero goals, eight assists, 11 PIM and is still a +10. So whatever he's doing must be magical because with 11 seasons under his belt ole' Rob has a superb eight goals to his name that he can attach to his resume.
All that being said let's get down to business. We have yet another team from the Metro-sexual-politan division in town and no time to waste as we wanna keep Crosby at zero career goals against the Blues. The Blues cannot afford to come out in this first period and play like last night or else my mother-in-law will be sitting next to me and complaining how they: A: "Look like shit out there" and B: my father-in law chimes in with a thunderous "We want Bishop!!!" (sorry folks he's still not over that trade.)
So in a nonchalant fan phrase I say let's "Clip the wings of the Penguins" and head to victory....although Penguins can't fly so let's just fucking win already and get ready for those Montreal pricks next week.
Thanks for reading and hopefully supporting the paper. We appreciate it.
And Let's Go Blues.