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Tuesday Links - A Mariner's Revenge

See a cartoon and hear a song about two dudes who got eaten whole by a massive whale. And click things.

By Donut King
Sad Kane. Sad Crawford. Happy Beleskey.
Sad Kane. Sad Crawford. Happy Beleskey.
Richard Mackson-USA TODAY Sports

Sorry about the lack of links the last few days. Not like the Blues are playing or anything, right? *CONSUMES ENTIRE FIFTH OF JAMESON IN ONE GULP*

BLUES NEWS:

  • Elliotte Friedman expects the Blues to stick with Ken Hitchcock. Great. [SLGT]
  • UFA Survivor continued with the pros (Hoosier Blue) and cons (HullandOates85) of bringing Zbynek Michalek back to the team. [SLGT; SLGT]
  • Brian takes a look at some goaltenders being drafted this year. It includes one that hails from Effingham, IL. Hey, (kinda) my old neck of the woods! [SLGT]

STANLEY CUP PLAYOFFS:

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • One game last night. Fuck Chicago. [NHL.com 05/25/15]
  • One game tonight. Could be it for the Rangers. Again. [NHL.com 05/26/15]
  • The Committed Indian recaps the losing side of the Ducks' 5-4 overtime win that pushes the Blackhawks to the brink. [The Committed Indian]
  • The Blackhawks' defensive side of things is quite dangerous . . . for Joel Quenneville and company. This and more in Ryan Lambert's What We Learned column. [Puck Daddy]
  • This is why the Rangers lost Game Five . . . someone wore a Tim Tebow Rangers sweater to the game. Fuck. You. [CBS Sports Eye on Hockey]
  • Gordon Bombay, not shockingly, is rooting for the Ducks. [Twitter / @EMILIOTHEWAY]
  • Mayor of Calgary, Naheed Nenshi, lost a bet with Anaheim's mayor. As a result, he had to sing "Let It Go" while wearing a Ducks sweater. And oh, what a Ducks sweater it is. [USA Today / FTW]
  • The Penguins used their first round pick to trade for our old friend David Perron . . . well, now Jim Rutherford wants to trade back into the first round. Yeah, so do a bunch of other fucking teams, bud. [Sportsnet]
  • Former NHL enforcer (and Blue) Rudy Poeschek has pled guilty to assault and driving while prohibited from two different incidents. He'll be sentenced in July. [TSN]

OTHER SHIT:

  • Giancarlo Stanton is good at destroying baseballs, but also can catch them. [Deadspin]
  • Ray McDonald couldn't get out of his own way, apparently, so the Bears released him before he plays a game with them. Nice. [NPR / The Two-Way]
  • It's probably not a good idea to stab the door man because the bartender served you a bad drink. I mean, I don't KNOW, but I have it on good authority. [Y! / AP]
  • Seven bartending terms, and what they actually mean. [Mental Floss]

VIDEO:

So as I noted last week, I was set to see The Decemberists on Sunday. It was a great show. They finished with a song they traditionally close with, a mini-epic entitled "The Mariner's Revenge Song". It's a badass story song, so I have a cartoon story video set to the song for you . . . settle in, it's kinda long:

Don't fuck with a vindictive mother's child.

On a side note, they had the crowd scream as if we were being eaten by whales, and brought out a big cutout of a whale to "swallow" the band for this song. It was pretty rad.

By the way, The Decemberists play at the Peabody Opera House this coming Saturday. If you're into that sort of thing.

Send me your tired . . . your poor . . . your links and videos:

And look for Episode 87 of Beyond Checkerdome . . . later this morning! It's safe to say that I was a bit . . . uhhhh, TURNT UP . . . about the coaching situation.

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