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Monday Links - Sad Royals

"Royals", as sung by a sad clown with a golden voice. Also, Vladimir Tarasenko is a "master", the Flyers are in deep shit and Mexico's soccer team should thank their lucky stars.

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PICTURED: Not a sad clown with a golden voice.
PICTURED: Not a sad clown with a golden voice.
Jason Merritt/Getty Images

BLUES NEWS:

  • The father of Vladimir Tarasenko says that his son is a "master", and in a series of tweets from a Russian fan, it is explained as to what he means by that. [SLGT]
  • In Part Two of Robb's fact-finding mission of what went wrong with the Blues in the playoffs, he goes over puck-possession. It wasn't really the problem, but things go a bit deeper than that, of course. [SLGT]
  • Troy Brouwer will wear 36. Kyle Brodziak will wear 28. The families of Phillipe Bozon and Steve Duchene are gnashing their teeth over this news, surely. [Frozen Notes]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • The contract extension the Ducks gave to Ryan Kesler is very indefensible, says Ryan Lambert in Trending Topics, and he explains why. [Puck Daddy]
  • The Flyers avoided arbitration with defenseman Michael Del Zotto, handing him a two-year $7.75MM extension. [TSN]
  • Speaking of the Flyers, they're in a world of shit as far as the cap is concerned. [CBS Sports Eye on Hockey]
  • Seattle will not submit a bid for an NHL expansion franchise today, according to sources. Surely, this will only heighten the Coyotes To Seattle rumors. [USA Today]
  • The Stars are having "one of the NHL's best offseasons". Wait, didn't we fucking say this LAST year? [Sportsnet]
  • Kris Versteeg hasn't been in many trade rumors, but Bryan Bickell has. And despite the impossible cap situation in Chicago, Bickell still believes he'll be in town. Yep, good luck with that, bud. [CSN Chicago]
  • The nasty lawsuit a nanny filed against Predators forward Mike Ribeiro from his time in Washington has been settled out of court, and as expected, very few details are being released. [Nashville Post]

OTHER SHIT:

  • A nice flop earned Mexico a Gold Cup victory over Costa Rica yesterday. Wowzers. [Deadspin / Screengrabber]
  • Surfer encounters . . . A MOTHERFUCKING SHARK . . . during competition. [NPR / The Two-Way]
  • Someone who has a shitload more time on their hands than I do made a transforming Optimus Prime out of Legos. Goddamn impressive, I say. [Nerdist]
  • You're more likely to see faces in objects if you're neurotic. OR IF THE FACES ARE ACTUALLY THERE, MAN. [Mental Floss]
  • Dude sees himself robbing a place on surveillance footage posted online and shortly thereafter turns himself in. [Y! / AP]

VIDEO:

More "Postmodern Jukebox". This is the "Sad Clown With The Golden Voice" version of "Royals", the mega-hit by Lorde:

Amazing voice on that clown.

Send me shit to link on Wednesday. Just don't send me any ACTUAL shit, or I will probably find you and destroy you:

Look for Episode #94 of Beyond Checkerdome later this week.

And look for the beginning of a couple offseason features here shortly!