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(Fake Monday) Tuesday Links - Take Me To Church

The version of "Take Me To Church" you'll see here may be the only one that rivals the original. Also, links.

By Donut King

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Can someone take THIS asshole to church so I don't have to watch him play hockey again?
Can someone take THIS asshole to church so I don't have to watch him play hockey again?
Kamil Krzaczynski-USA TODAY Sports

Pardon the formatting. I've got a lot of links to distribute.

BLUES NEWS:

  • Say Hi to my wife, BluesMay . . . [SLGT] . . . fellow Stauntonite, Tomorrow's Blues . . . [SLGT] . . . and game recapper, HullandOates85. [SLGT]
  • Who are you putting out there for 3-on-3 overtime? [SLGT]
  • Tomorrow's Blues has a short video on new goaltending prospect Luke Opilka from Blues Prospect Camp. [SLGT FanShots]
  • The NBC/NBCSN broadcast schedule has been released. The Blues are on NBCSN twelve times. They're on NBC zero times. Meh. HullandOates85 has more. [SLGT]

HALLPLANTE'S HOCKEY LINKS:

  • Steve Ott is number two on the list of ten most loathsome NHL players, according to this list. Number one on mine. [Puck Daddy]
  • Top 25 NHL right wingers. Vladimir Tarasenko is number two. Also on the list, both T.J. Oshie and Troy Brouwer(?). [Y! Sports Canada]
  • Somehow, the Blues aren't on top of this list. [SI]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • The best and worst cities for hockey fans in 2015. St. Louis, number three? Okay. (S/T to luvhockey) [Hooked On Hockey Magazine]
  • Why are teams waiting on Cody Franson all of a sudden? That and so much more in Ryan Lambert's weekly What We Learned piece. [Puck Daddy]
  • It's arbitration season! Many teams want to sign their guys early. Like the Rangers, who signed Derek Stepan to a six-year mega-deal. [Blueshirt Banter]
  • And the Predators, who signed Colin Wilson to a four-year deal. [Predators]
  • And the Flames, who inked Paul Byron to a one-year deal. [TSN]
  • But the Senators? They took Alex Chiasson to court . . . and won. The arbitrator awarded the young forward $1.2MM for next season. [Sportsnet]
  • The Sabres told Ted Black to piss off and named Buffalo Bills executive Russ Brandon the new Team President and Alternate Governor. [USA Today]
  • Jake Gyllenhaal apparently could've been in the first Mighty Ducks movie, but his parents didn't let him and he went apeshit. [SI]
  • You want an expansion team, Quebec City? Well, you'll probably get to go to the Western Conference. Enjoy. [CBS Sports Eye on Hockey]

OTHER SHIT FROM BLUESMAY:

  • "Namaste" doesn't mean the same thing in yoga class as it does to someone from India. [NPR / Goats and Soda]
  • What is your cat trying to tell you? [Mental Floss]

OTHER OTHER SHIT:

  • Colin Cowherd is a racist twat, which makes the fact that ESPN just NOW decided to shit-can him (y'know, because he was already leaving anyway) for racist comments quite . . . ummmm, fascinating. [Deadspin]
  • Bugs Bunny turned 75 yesterday. Happy birthday, Bugs! [Nerdist]
  • A massive maple syrup spill in New Hampshire proves that Canada apparently didn't truly have enough maple syrup, I guess. [Y! / AP]
  • The mayor of the City of Boston basically told the International Olympic Committee and their demands to host a Summer Olympics to go fuck themselves. Good. [Deadspin]

VIDEO:

This woman has an unreal voice, and absolutely fucking kills "Take Me To Church":

Yes.

I'll have more tomorrow. Send me stuff:

No Beyond Checkerdome this week. Episode #95 will be a bit late next week. Someone's moving. That someone is me.

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