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Monday Links - Jazz Lovefool

The Postmodern Jukebox returns to the links with a smash 90's hit from a Swedish band . . . in vintage jazz style!

This has to be the least-flattering picture of Alexander Steen I have EVER seen.
This has to be the least-flattering picture of Alexander Steen I have EVER seen.
Brace Hemmelgarn-USA TODAY Sports

BLUES NEWS:

  • The Blues' prospects split their first two games at the Traverse City Tournament, dropping one to the Blue Jackets 5-2 and shutting out the Rangers 2-0. Brian has the scoop. (VOTE IN THE POLL!) [SLGT; SLGT FanPosts; SLGT]
  • What could Scottie Upshall bring the Blues if he makes the team out of camp? [SLGT]
  • Army says Robby Fabbri will stick around if he makes the squad. (I'll believe that when I see it, sir. I mean, Hitch is still the coach.) [SLGT FanShots]
  • Alexander Steen says he's done thinking about the team's past failures. Well, that'd be nice. [SLGT FanShots]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • The Bruins brought aboard Jamie Langenbrunner as a development coach, ending any chance the Blues could hire him to be "Assistant VP In Charge Of Something Something Something". (S/T to Childhood Trauma for both the link and what's in quotes here) [Pro Hockey Talk]
  • Ryan Lambert feels that no team has improved more than the Sabres this offseason, which he wrote about in a Trending Topics piece posted last Friday. [Puck Daddy]
  • Devils forward Ryane Clowe had been rumored not to ever be able to play hockey again, but Ray Shero finally confirmed the news, saying Clowe won't officially retire but will not be able to continue to play. The finishing blow? A November 6th hit by David Backes, unfortunately. [Fire and Ice]
  • Meanwhile, Red Wings forward Johan Franzen was rumored to be possibly ending his career due to a concussion. But, he's been cleared to play and is expected to be ready for the season opener, as it turns out. [USA Today]
  • Get ready to be underwhelmed, Washington. The Capitals are inviting Derek Roy to camp on a PTO. #RoyWatch (this also continues the possibility that his brother will be a dipshit on Twitter about his success) [CBS Sports Eye on Hockey]
  • To clear cap space, the Blackhawks shipped off forwards Kris Versteeg and Joakim Nordstrom plus a 2017 third-round pick to the Hurricanes in exchange for defensemen Dennis Robertson and Jake Massie plus a 2017 fifth-round pick. [Hurricanes]
  • The Blackhawks did THAT, so they could sign forward Marcus Kruger to an RFA deal worth $1.5MM and stay within the cap. [Blackhawks]
  • The Hawks also invited journeyman defenseman Jan Hejda to camp on a PTO. [Pro Hockey Talk]
  • Other notable PTO's handed out include the Panthers and forward Martin Havlat . . . [Sportsnet] . . . the Sabres and eternal dickbag forward Patrick Kaleta . . . [Amerks] . . . and the Canadiens and forward Tomas Fleischmann. [TSN]

OTHER SHIT:

  • It's another really shitty fire season out west. [NPR / The Two-Way]
  • A couple Brazilian soccer clubs played a match on a pitch they really shouldn't have been playing soccer on this past Friday. [Deadspin / Screamer]
  • Why is spicy food . . . . uhhh, spicy? [Mental Floss]
  • This enterprising young man turned his college dorm fridge into a Goddamn Game Boy. [Nerdist]
  • "Honey, can you go get ice for the cooler?" *CRASH* "Too late." [Y! / AP]

VIDEO:

Remember this tune? Sure you do:

Well done.