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Shut the Magnus Paajarvi train down, Ken Hitchcock

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It's happened. The Magnus Paajarvi train has flown by and done little to help the Blues win games. Get him off the line and off this damn team.

Look at me, I won the lottery!
Look at me, I won the lottery!
Bruce Fedyck-USA TODAY Sports

Magnus Paajarvi logged over 19 minutes of ice time in Thursday's 3-1 loss to the Minnesota Wild. More ice time than David Backes(the Captain), Jori Lehtara(poor man's Paul Stastny) and Robby Fabbri(who had two sick goals in back to back games). He continues to get top line ice time and for what? A trade spotlight. I'm sorry. The California Penal league isn't looking for this kind of garbage. Shut the Magnus train down, Ken Hitchcock, or I'll make that South Beach Diet seem like a day at the Twinkie Spa.

It just doesn't make sense. You can slice it a few different ways and I won't believe you as I drink my scotch Ron Burgundy style.

Paajarvi has three things going for him. He's young, fast and only makes 700,000 dollars. Does he come with a parachute? That's my question. What makes him valuable?

He doesn't score. He doesn't assist. He doesn't kill penalties. He doesn't have a wicked shot or a mean streak. He's expired vegetables. In over 90 games with St. Louis since the David Perron trade, Paajarvi has scored 8 goals and logged 18 total points. That's it. HEY, he skates fast though.  Moves quickly. He can accelerate. His +/- is poor. He doesn't do a lot of things well. The truth is, Magnus Paajarvi sucks at NHL level hockey.

He's slowing the Blues down by getting premium ice time. And I used to complain T.J. Oshie got too much ice time. Magnus has played over 15 minutes or more three of the last five games. That's too much. I don't think he should play any minutes when Patrik Berglund returns. I think he should be driven to Lambert airport by Lloyd Christmas. Along with Hitch, but let's save that dose for another day.

The Blues completed a furiously paced December with an 8-8 record(I don't include the sissy overtime loss statistic), their worst month of the 2015-16 season. They are lucky they won that many games. Their pattern of play is shitty. Their physicality is lacking. Their brand of speed doesn't win enough games and makes others unbearable. Rarely does this team play 60 minutes much less 45. They are trending down. Players like Magnus need to be shelved. Press box'd. Told to not pass go. Give me one reason why he should log good ice time much less top line ice time and you will be scratching the surface of your cranium for an answer that doesn't make me want to hit you over the head with a shovel. Take away Vladimir Tarasenko and Jake Allen and these past three months are hellish. Hello 9th or 10th place. Yeah, it's that bad. When your silver bullet sits due to sickness(Tarasenko on Thursday) and you get exposed by the Minnesota Wild on your home ice, a "blow up" is in order. At least that's what Hitch told the media.

Well, Coach, blow it up really well. Send Paajarvi to the 3rd line at least or send him to Chicago. If he can't go there(I'm too lazy to look it up), cut him. What are you going to lose if you get rid of him? A 24 year old bum in a system that favors speed. He doesn't have it. He never did. The best part of the Edmonton trade was acquiring Ivan Barbashev, a 20 year old second round pick. Magnus was carry on luggage that got lost.

July 10th, 2013. Perron left. Paajarvi and (soon to be) Barbashev arrived.

January, 2016. Paajarvi leaves again.

Please tell me in the comments section how I am wrong. Here's the catch. Try to do it without mentioning "speed", "fast" or "age".

I'll be over here sipping hot coffee and laughing my ass off.

The fat trimming shall commence and Magnus is first. Happy New Year kid, get off my television screen.