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Attention Blues: It's chess, not checkers!!!!

Maybe they are just resting their urge to give a shit, but this January stretch of play is nauseating.

Don't ruin my California dream, Mr. Duck!
Don't ruin my California dream, Mr. Duck!
Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

Please don't tell me the St. Louis Blues are merely saving their best play for March and April. This isn't a marathon. You don't get to piss off 10 games when the people next to you are sharks with as much talent and drive. The St. Louis Blues haven't won in January. They have lost five straight games.

Go ahead and spare me the "they got a point" argument. Take that shit to a long ass St. Louis Bread Company line. I don't want it. I don't care if the Blues record looks like 23-14-7. In my eyes, the Blues are 23-21. 23 wins. 21 losses. That's ugly. After a fast start through the middle of November and a nice December four game bump, they have played shitty hockey. They barely beat the Stars at home in nine shootout rounds on December 26th. They barely beat the Nashville Predators. They coughed up an absolute turd against Toronto. The Blues have blown two goal leads like Justin Bieber blows hair gel. It's despicable and carries no strong defense.

In their last three losses, the Blues carried two goal leads in each. They jumped on the Ottawa Senators with two early strikes, including a Troy Brouwer goal. They lost 3-2 in overtime. They got ahead of Colorado 3-1 before losing 4-3 in overtime. Friday night, the same thing happened. 3-1 lead and a collapse.

The Anaheim Ducks loss stung because the Blues actually played quality hockey more often than not. Ryan Reaves scored a goal(tying him with top 6 forward Magnus Paajarvi). Vladimir Tarasenko got into a fight and didn't get clobbered. Brouwer dangled the shit out of John Gibson. The Blues fought amid injuries to Jay Bouwmeester, Paul Stastny and Jake Allen. Brian Elliott came in and brought his sexy cool Cujo tribute pads. None of it was enough,

The reactions will be familiar. Hitch will shake his head. He will have no answers. Hitch will have no explanation for a lack of buy in from his passengers aboard the reckless plane of gumption. Doug Armstrong will show off his sinister face again as he redials Mike Babcock's Detroit cell phone number. He may even call Adam Oates, who would just love to come back to a team that refused to pay him the money he deserved back when he was a playmaker.

Fans will call for Hitch's head and ask him to be fired. It may actually be getting closer to happening. If the Blues lose in Los Angeles and come home and shit the bed versus the New Jersey Devils, you may see Martin Brodeur be sworn in as the new head coach. Don't doubt it just yet before you think about it.

Will it help? A head coach firing mid season isn't an easy remedy but it's not exactly reckless.  Sure it's worked for other teams before, including the Kings in recent memory. Will it spawn a different style of play, effort and result? Let me ask a snake charmer because I have no clue.

I would love to ask Hitch why Robby Fabbri(who has the hands of Baby Jesus on the ice) can't see more than two seconds of overtime. If he is worried about the kid's stamina come March or April, why not rest the kid in the first two periods and save him for the late and close action since that is the way the Blues love to play it these days? How about it, coach? Anything to say or just another twinkie to devour and office to cry in? Sorry Midwest people who thought that was rude. I never claimed to be nice. This team and its coaches don't deserve nice.

Yeah, it's all their fault. The coaches, the team and even Louie. You can't just blame Hitch, Armie or one single player. It just doesn't work. You need more than the eight fingers and two thumbs to correctly point out the bullshit that has overtaken January. It won't just end. The Blues are facing a Kings team that has turned into the "Don't Give a Shit" crew. They are 7-3 in their last ten games, vaulting from the 7-8th spot in the West to 3rd this past month. Every Blues fan knows how hard it is to win in LA. Tonight won't be any easier.

Someone needs to tell the Blues to wake up. As fictional detective Alonzo Harris screamed at a young wet eared cop once upon a time, It's chess! Not checkers! If the Blues don't get their shit together, they will find themselves around the 6th, 7th or 8th spot. Jaden Schwartz isn't Alexander Ovechkin so don't think he will solve everything.

Lots of questions surround this team right now and neither of them are multiple choice. How long does Paajarvi remain a top 9 forward? What is Patrik Berglund's long term effect? How long is Allen going to be out? What if Stastny is seriously hurt? How many more shots will this team take before a trade is made? Something has to happen.

Fire the coach. Trade for a player. Fire the GM afterwards. Guess what? The rest of the roster may not react the way you want them to. You can't fire an entire team.

Like it or not, we are stuck with these 2015-16 Blues. They aren't as sharp as last year skill wise and don't use enough of the reckless grit that Hitch hope for. Worst of all, they can't even fucking finish.