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Blues Vs. Rangers Recap: No Offense.

No, really. ZERO. NONE. ZIP. ZILCH. NADA.

Adam Hunger-USA TODAY Sports

Blues Lineup:

Forwards: Alexander Steen/Paul Stastny/David Perron...Jaden Schwartz/Jori Lehtera/Vladimir Tarasenko...Robby Fabbri/Patrik Berglund/Nail Yakupov...Dmitrij Jaskin/Kyle Brodziak/Ryan Reaves

Defensemen: Jay Bouwmeester/Alex Pietrangelo...Carl Gunnarsson/Kevin Shattenkirk...Joel Edmundson/Colton Parayko

Goaltender: Jake Allen

Game Highlights*:

*More like "Proof that the Blues were on the ice to begin with" The Blues took to the ice tonight in Madison Square Garden to take on the New York Rangers. The only thing they took on tonight was water. Picking up the action in the first, Blues and Rangers playing some 4-on-4 hockey. Dan Girardi makes it 1-0 on a deflection past Allen.

Just a few moments later the Rangers were on a short powerplay. Jimmy Vesey fires the puck in the back of the net for the 2-0 Rangers lead.

As if the Blues being down 2-0 wasn't enough, Henrik Lundqvist wasn't about to let the Blues back into this one.

The only highlight from the Blues side of things in the first period was Allen's stop on J.T. Miller.

There was also a goal review early on in the period. However, I will spare you the official explanation. Long story short it didn't cross the goal line. It went from bad to worse in the second period. Fat Rick Nash makes it 3-0. He banks it off Allen and it goes in.

New York wasn't done. On another man advantage, Jake Allen gives up a juicy rebound. Mats Zuccarello taps in the pass from Chris Kreider to make it 4-0 bad guys. It also ends Jake Allen's night. Needless to say, the Blues didn't help Carter out either.

Five-to-Nothing. That was your final score tonight. No effort for the Blues. 35 shots on goal might have been generous. It sure didn't seem they had that many. On to the next one in Dallas. Maybe the Blues will make the trip this time.

From The Twitter Machine:

Yep.

Uh huh.

From the "No Shit" Department:

And finally at least one good thing happened tonight. Congrats to Jay "Fun Bobby" Bouwmeester on game number 1000. (Look at a pic of Bouw, and then look at a picture from the "Fun Bobby" character from Friends.)

Three Stars:

They were all Rangers. Congrats.