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Blues: A tool set without a carpenter

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After winning six in a row, the St. Louis Blues have lost two pitiful games in disgusting fashion. But don't worry, it's okay. Right?

Sergei Belski-USA TODAY Sports

Pardon the interruption, but the St. Louis Blues left all their good deeds in Dallas. After tying the Western Conference leading Stars on Saturday with 91 points, the Blues showed up and took a shit in Cal and Gary's office Monday. Funky goals, uninspired play, lots of penalties, and the first Anders(DRINK) appearance made for a nightmare or two. Just one game, right? Wrong.

The Edmonton Oilers laid another smackdown on the Blues. Yes, the Blues came back to make it 5-4, just like they made it 5-4 in Calgary before losing 7-4. It doesn't matter. The Blues have squandered two chances to take over the lead in the Western Conference. The Chicago Blackhawks put on the ugly dress and have lost three in a row. The Kings jumped them and are two points behind St. Louis and Dallas. The Blues could have won a game and been on top. Their ROW currently puts them technically behind Dallas. DRINK!

It's not all bad. The Blues have scored four or more goals in seven of their past eight games. Since the Nashville Predators hulk smashed the Blues at the end of February, the team has averaged 4.5 goals per game and won six of eight. Yes, they are still rather solid in March. It's funny how two bad games can highlight a ton of problems that were around in November, December, and January.

Remember when Jake Allen(who just looks fed up in net) played out of his mind in November and bailed the Blues out?Remember when Brian Elliott played out of his mind in January and bailed the low scoring sloppy Blues out? Ring any fucking bells!?! Yeah sure, the Blues are tied for the top spot in the West so who cares?

Hey, the Blues have been injured a lot so they are allowed to absolutely shit the bed like diaper criminals on occasion or over 72 hours. Alex Steen and Steve Ott(DRINK) are out so what can they do? Allen is being backed up by an average pile of shit in Anders Nilsson and is literally begging for a day off right now.

The formerly #2 ranked penalty kill has allowed goals in five straight and four against Edmonton. No worries, because Brian Elliott's start in net Saturday will fix that(if his glove hand and left and right leg are still bionic).

These Blues zig and then they zag. They get high and go low. Frequently. Every year. The only thing is that they never get too low so fans can really take a strong swing at them. As much as I can torch their terrible two game stretch, they are still tied for first. FUCK! DRINK! It's not miserable, frustrating, or bad to be a Blues fan. It's just a roller coaster ride. The Blues are like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get. If you think you know, they flip your thought process quickly.

You can't get comfortable with this team. They are like that friend you like to hang out with up until they have an alcoholic beverage. On one hand, they are scoring a lot but sometimes even their bad defense and need to imitate the Walking Dead extras on ice can ruin that. On the other hand, they seem to have great goaltending but those two goalies can't share ice time because that would RUPTURE THE HISTORY OF TEAMS WHO WON THE STANLEY CUP WITH ONE GOALTENDER!!! Damn it! DRINK!

When the Blues win six in a row, Ken Hitchcock is a round shaped GOD. When they lose, he is a Dunkin Donuts chomping old timer who needs to shove off into retirement. Flip the deck and start dealing cards because we will be here for another three weeks.

Soon, the Blues will be forced to engage in playoff activity again. The comfort of a fabulous regular season record will vanish. It doesn't matter who faces them. The Wild, Preds, Blackhawks, Stars, or the Kings. They all represent potential doom to this team in April. The Blues will be forced to answer that 49 year old question. Can they win a Cup and if not, what exactly is missing and can Doug Armstrong acquire it in time for a run next year?

Do the Blues have what it takes to win the Cup? Sure. Will it come together when they need it to? Ask someone else. The tools are there. Not sure if a carpenter is showing up though.

Hey, we will always have "hell week" right?

The Blues resume play in Vancouver on Saturday night. Do yourself a favor and bring whiskey to the living room. Win or lose, it will help with this rugged team of zig zag Blues.