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World Cup of Hockey Jerseys: The Fugly Zone

Now that the rosters are picked, teams are assembled and the serious part is out of the way, can we talk about those fucking jerseys?

Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports

Who picked out these World Cup of Hockey jerseys? Was somebody drunk? Did somebody watch the Oscars and think they were making gowns and not the cloths that will be worn by scrappy dirty bastard warrior childs as they try to snag their country the trophy? Let's break it all down into categories.

FUGLY(undercooked DiGiornos)


Team Europe 2016 World Cup of Hockey jersey

Are they opening a car wash or is this going on somebody's chest at a hockey game? I hate the mix of colors and the "E" in the middle. This is bad. Again, I think if they are opening a Boomerang down here in Arkansas, these shirts are good for employees. Otherwise, re-sketch!


Team Finland 2016 World Cup of Hockey jersey

I am not sure if this is supposed to be funny or did a soccer fan sneak into the final design team? How about just BLUE with that cool Game of Thrones log in the middle? Why the stripes and shades and SUOMI???? Sure, it has something to do with the country but next time, bag it. Forget about.


Team Sweden 2016 World Cup of Hockey jersey

What's going on here? Is that supposed to be a sneaky cute design resembling eyeballs and a nose? The yellow I don't have a problem with. It's the MIX of blue and yellow that sends my eyes into meth addict prevention mode. It doesn't work. Borderline ugly and fugly here.

BAD(Papa Johns Pizza sauce like)

Czech Republic

Team Czech Republic 2016 World Cup of Hockey jersey

TOO. MUCH. GOING. ON. Stop it. Put down the pencils. Markers. Mouse. Step away from the pad. Again, stick with the logo and a solid color. Red, white, blue, stripes, collar colors and a white section at the end for nose bleed wiping. This isn't fugly but whoever designed should be sent back to teaching kids how to draw a straight line.

SOLID(Ami's Deep Dish)

United States of America

Team USA 2016 World Cup of Hockey jersey

All bias aside, I like the one on the left a lot. Solid pointed logo in middle, big time navy blue and the red stripes mesh well. The one on the right is okay, but reminds me too much of the Czech fuckup above. All in all, these are easy to like, simple and classy jerseys. Well done, MERICA!

OKAY(Dominos Pizza)


Team Canada 2016 World Cup of Hockey jersey

If this is what Doug Armstrong was working on for the past month while other teams loaded up and he acquired an Anders, I'll be pissed because this isn't a work of art. It's not even good. The logo looks like a Maple Leaf jersey had sex with a batch of Hot Tamales. The one on the left is more pronounced and okay if not impressive. These are okay jerseys. Sidney Crosby and the Ghost of His Creeper Mustache will fit in just fine here.

NOT GOOD OR BAD(Pizza Hut pizza basically)


Team Russia 2016 World Cup of Hockey jersey

Once again, I really like the double hawk log. Looks like a mixture of GOT and Moscow's toughest but I really hate the way the colors come together. The arm sleeve night club broken neon light machine isn't good and the entire design is underwhelming. I wouldn't buy it and I bet Ovie doesn't send any to his folks.

That's it. Did I miss anybody? Well, if I did, then their designs didn't suck or rise up enough? Which were your favorites? Was I too harsh(I know the answer to that question)?

Have a good night and happy drinking!