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Donut King's Birthday Links - Ex's & Oh's

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Of course it's Good Friday. EVERY Friday is Good Friday! Or something.

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Yep, coach. I'm still here.
Yep, coach. I'm still here.
John Hefti-USA TODAY Sports

Today, I am officially old enough to be President of the United States of America.

Don't get any wise ideas, fuckfaces.

BLUES NEWS:

  • Kind of a drab game, but Brian Elliott got a 37-save shutout (at least a bajillion more impressive than his one in Vancouver, by the way), Robby Fabbri went all sick on Martin Jones and the Blues beat the Sharks 1-0 in The Tank. Justin has your Cap of Re. [SLGT]
  • Fear the Fin seemed pleased with the performance despite the result. I can't really blame them, I suppose. [Fear the Fin]
  • Buffa has five takeaways from the game as well. [SLGT]
  • Someone has a prototype of that wild-ass Mike Keenan-rejected Blues third sweater from the 90's. You know the one. It's available on eBay, as UIWWildThing gestured. [SLGT FanShots]
  • Episode #122 of Beyond Checkerdome talks about the two terrible games in Alberta, the great game in British Columbia, how dumb the Paul Stastny haters are, expansion by the NWHL AND NHL, and more. [SLGT]
  • The final Lynx Links of the season (and possibly for good) from jstats. [SLGT FanPosts]
  • Brian Elliott will start in goal tonight against the Canucks, with Jake Allen in net Saturday against the Capitals . . . fascinating. [StL Today / Morning Skate]
  • Not many updates on Alexander Steen, but we missed this one last week where he wasn't getting much better. (S/T to doubleduck) [CBS Sports / Rotowire]
  • Oh, and if you're going to the game tonight . . . go buy a St. Louis Game Time paper, y'asshole.

KNOW YOUR ENEMY--THE VANCOUVER CANUCKS:

  • Wanna know what REAL hockey depression looks like? Head on over to Nucks Misconduct and watch them deal with the 2015-16 Canucks turning into the 2005-06 Blues SO fucking fast. [Nucks Misconduct]
  • By the way, they played the Predators in Nashville yesterday. They snapped their long-ass shutout skid but lost 3-2 in a shootout after carrying a 2-0 lead into the third. [Vancouver Sun]
  • Oh, and Henrik Sedin passed Maurice Richard in career points last night too. [Sportsnet]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • Your scores are here, kids. [NHL.com Scores]
  • Rockford is fun this time of year. Yeesh. [The Sporting News]
  • Ryan Lambert takes several massive dumps on the rumors that the Coyotes could trade high-valued assets for the number one pick of the 2016 NHL Entry Draft, which will be Arizona product Auston Matthews, in Huge If True. [Puck Daddy]
  • Speaking of Matthews, he will play for Team USA at the IIHF World Championships. [ESPN]
  • The NHL award underdogs you should be rooting for, and why they won't win. [SB Nation]
  • Blue Jackets meathead Jared Boll did a derp and got told to sit down for four games. [NHL.com]
  • How the Ducks went from the bottom of the barrel this season to a possible Cup contender. Despite their overtime loss to the Maple Leafs last night, they clinched a playoff spot. [CBS Sports Eye on Hockey]
  • Jonathan Drouin surely can't wait for 2015-16 to end. I think he should fire his agent too, but not because of this. [USA Today]
  • John Scott on "The Rock" . . . the beautiful land of Newfoundland. He got Screeched In! Something I will do when I visit my in-laws up that way . . . one of these days. [Sportsnet]
  • Where did it all go wrong for Canada's NHL teams? [TSN]

OTHER SHIT:

  • We will always have the Cruyff Turn, but the innovator of the move is no longer among us. RIP, Johan Cruyff, perhaps the greatest footballer ever produced by the Dutch. #FuckCancer [Deadspin / Screamer]
  • Then, a couple days ago, we lost Phife Dawg, essentially the front-man of the popular rap group A Tribe Called Quest, at the tender age of 45. Diabetes blows, man. [Rolling Stone]
  • And as if that wasn't enough . . . we lost Garry Shandling yesterday too. What a brilliant comedian. 2016 has been . . . a year. [NPR / The Two-Way]
  • The rumor mill says Sir Paul McCartney may be part of the next Pirates of the Caribbean film. [Nerdist]
  • Video stores are still in business? This HAPPENED?! [Y! / Reuters]
  • Filed under "Shit I Probably Never Needed To Know But Found Interesting Anyway" . . . [Mental Floss]
  • In a referendum, the citizens of New Zealand voted to keep its' current flag instead of adopting one with a silver fern leaf. [BBC News]
  • 100 is a lot, right? [SB Nation]

BEER OF THE DAY:

  • BluesMay got a tip from our local booze stop that this brewery had closed its' doors. So she bought some. And I drank some. And it's damn tasty. Sweet, sweet sorrowful no-longer-produced beer. Meadowlark IPA, from the now-defunct Pretty Things Beer & Ale Project. [Untappd]

VIDEO:

If you've heard Elle King's "Ex's and Oh's" on the radio, here's a fun vintage cover of it:

YOU WILL HAVE TO PRY THE POSTMODERN JUKEBOX . . . FROM MY COLD, DEAD HANDS.

BluesMay returns tomorrow. I'm back Tuesday.