Blues sink the Hawks and exorcise a demon

When the clock shrunk to 0.0 and the St. Louis Blues had eliminated the Hawks, I didn't know what to do with myself. A long drought of playoff suffering at the hands of the Blackhawks was over. Instead of waking up to a sad realization that hockey was on hold until the winter, the Blues refused to choke and stayed as resilient as ever in holding off the Hawks.

The Blues got up 2-0 and the Hawks came back to tie it. The Blues got ahead 3-2 and the Hawks nearly tied it when a puck screamed off two posts behind Brian Elliott. Fate was in the favor of the Blues Monday night and so here are a few instant thoughts. Maybe you saw them on Twitter and maybe you didn't.

Fuck you Patrick Kane. You can now skate circles in your backyard or hopefully around nightclubs trying to find a woman to say yes. In the mean time, NBC "analyst" Mike Milbury is waiting with chocolates and kleenex.

Screw you Andrew Shaw. You scored four goals and I have no idea how they happened. You got lucky on one narrow shot, and then dry humped Elliott on the Game 2 winner. You are a child and an asshole. Your pacifier and onesie is on order. By the way, it's not 1920. Cut the hair dude.

Eat shit Jonathan Toews. You didn't score at all in the series and looked like a sad child snubbed on Christmas in the handshakes. Please, learn how to grow a beard. Also, David Backes hates you.

Suck it, Brent Seabrook. Maybe you can throw your elbow into a few doors at Lambert Airport on the way out of town instead of someone's skull.

Goodbye Duncan Keith. Have fun at the batting cages because you have a helluva swing fella. Oh, by the way, WAKEY WAKEY you suck at lying. Dirty scoundrel.

See you later Coach Q. Have fun grabbing your crotch for no reason all summer long as you wait for training camp to begin.

I'm sorry NHL. You didn't get what you wanted....again. First, John Scott makes an ass out of you. Now the Blues end the Hawks parade early. It must be impossible to be more butthurt about this whole situation. I'm not really sorry.

For the first time since the 2001-02 season, the Blues sent the Hawks packing. Chicago will not win anything this year but a participation award. They didn't have the energy, luck, or timing to outlast a ferocious Blues team. St. Louis outhit them, blocked more shots, and unleashed more shots on Corey Crawford than the Hawks did Elliott for a third straight game. The Hawks didn't back down but sooner or later, bullshit runs out of equity.

The Dallas Stars are next. They score a ton, don't play defense and don't have a great goaltender in net. The Blues handled them during the regular season but a lot of games were close. Jamie Benn is about as lethal as Toews and their roster is rested and ready. It will be a fight but they don't intimidate me as much as the Hawks.

A month ago, I talked about favorable playoff matchups. The heart wanted the Hawks and the brain wanted the Stars. Well, now the Hawks are gone and the Stars are standing in front of the Blues. What happens next? Who knows? The important thing is the Blues didn't choke and prolonged their 2015-16 run.

Now Ken Hitchcock faces a team he last saw great playoff success with. It may be the last time he coaches a roster this good. Let's make it count.

How about Brian Elliott? M.V.P ladies and gents. Oh, and how about that Troy Brouwer guy? Do you still miss T.J. Oshie?

The Blues are advancing. The Hawks are not. Go crazy, folks...for now.