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Thursday Links - Dachshund Hockey

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And the same doggies playing Star Wars.

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"I'M SO GODDAMN EXCITED I COULD PUNCH YOU RIGHT IN THE MARTINOOK!"
"I'M SO GODDAMN EXCITED I COULD PUNCH YOU RIGHT IN THE MARTINOOK!"
Jeff Curry-USA TODAY Sports

BLUES NEWS:

  • After giving up two early ones, Brian Elliott settled in and watched the offense pick up the slack with five unanswered. Blues over Coyotes 5-2. Justin has your recap. [SLGT]
  • It wasn't a good start to the road trip for the Coyotes . . . [Five For Howling]
  • . . . as they then got spanked by the Blues' next opponent, TFUN, 6-2 the next night. [Five For Howling]
  • Before the game, it was announced that David Backes and Jake Allen would miss the rest of the regular season with lower body ailments. Oh joy. [SLGT]
  • Then, Ells had a scare in practice as a puck struck his blocker hand, but he said he'll play tonight. [SLGT]
  • Though we might see Robby Fabbri back in the lineup this evening. [SLGT FanShots]
  • And Steve Ott, who appeared close to being ready to come back in the lineup (and you KNOW he would be back in the lineup, right?) following his recovery from double hamstring surgery, will be re-evaluated in two weeks as it appears he's come down with colitis. [StL Today / Morning Skate]
  • After attempting to dick around with the goal song earlier this season, the Blues are turning back to an appeal for tradition, which seems hypocritical to David Rogers at Frozen Notes. [Frozen Notes]

KNOW YOUR ENEMY--THOSE FUCKERS UP NORTH (AKA THE CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS):

  • Your SB Nation home of the Blackhawks is Second City Hockey. Check 'em out. My understanding is that they're good people, despite the jerkass team they root for. [Second City Hockey]
  • But you should also check out our pals over at The Committed Indian. [The Committed Indian]

HOCKEY NEWS:

  • Your NHL scores are here. What you do with them from here is your own business. [NHL.com Scores]
  • Here are the current NHL standings, in case you care. [NHL.com Standings]
  • Ryan Lambert takes on Mike Harrington, Shane Doan, Duncan Keith, the KHL and more in the Puck Daddy Countdown. [Puck Daddy]
  • Maple Leafs center Nazem Kadri did a derp with his stick and will sit out the rest of the season because of it. [Pension Plan Puppets]
  • The Ontario Hockey League laid down the law on Flint Firebirds owner Rolf Nilsen, suspending him for five years and fining him a quarter million dollars. [OHL]
  • The final game at the Rexall Center was played last night. And as a callback to old times . . . the Oilers handed the Canucks their asses on a plate in the contest. [Sportsnet]
  • Backing into the playoffs? Don't tell that to the Wild(s)! They don't give a shit. (And why would they? They might play the Blues in the first round!) [Deadspin]
  • Predators forward Filip Forsberg went all fancy on a goal the other night. Oooooooooh. [CBS Sports Eye on Hockey]
  • An announcement is expected today after the entire Russian U18 team was replaced just a day before the 2016 IIHF U18 World Championships were to start. Word has it that they all tested positive for the banned substance Meldonium. [RT]
  • The Avalanche(s) are officially out of playoff contention, and head coach Patrick Roy seems to be blaming everyone but himself. [NBC Sports]
  • Canadiens goaltender Carey Price and defenseman P.K. Subban won't suit up for the rest of the season. Probably just as well. [USA Today]
  • Rangers defenseman Ryan McDonagh will likely miss the rest of the regular season and possibly the start of the playoffs due to a hand ailment sustained while blocking a shot. [The Sporting News]
  • I don't watch The Walking Dead but apparently one of the main characters is a Red Wings fan. The Flyers trolled him. Didn't seem to work, if you saw the scoreboard. [SB Nation / #Lookit]
  • Leafs forward (and Newfoundlander) Colin Greening is finding regular time in that wretched team's lineup and playing well. And he's pretty damn smart too. [The Globe & Mail]
  • All seven Canadian-based NHL teams are on the outside looking in this playoff year. Here are some opinions on each team's top priorities this offseason. [TSN]

OTHER SHIT:

  • RIP, Merle Haggard. [NPR / The Two-Way]
  • Shit on the lawn? Get stabbed. Seems fair. [Y! / AP]
  • Philadelphia 76ers general manager Sam Hinkie resigned his post yesterday . . . with a THIRTEEN-PAGE RESIGNATION LETTER. Holy hell. [SB Nation]
  • JJ Abrams explained the ash table that held Darth Vader's mask in that solo scene of Kylo Ren in Star Wars: The Force Awakens. [Nerdist]
  • There are some pretty significant differences between all those over-the-counter pain relievers. This post spells them out a bit better than I could. [Mental Floss]
  • Ahhhhhhh, baseball . . . I missed watching Giancarlo Stanton send pitches to Goddamn Mars. [Deadspin]

BEER OF THE DAY:

  • Bell's Brewery isn't the only craft brewery in Michigan. They also have the New Holland Brewing Company in Holland, MI. Their oatmeal stout--which they call The Poet--is quite tasty. [Untappd]

VIDEOS:

I love hockey. I love dachshunds. So, you get this video of two adorable dachshunds playing hockey:

D'awwwwwwwwwwww.

And for good measure, here are the same two wiener dogs playing with lightsabers:

Adorable.

BluesMay returns Saturday. Then an announcement on the future of SLGT links on Sunday. Then the playoffs begin. Yay.