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2017 NHL All Star Game Recap Now With Less Train Horn

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Also, a Blues player scored a garbage goal in a game that had already been decided. So, par for the course.

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Game One, Central Division Vs. Pacific Division

Starting in net for the Central division was Blackhawks goaltender Corey Crawford. Opposing him was Mike Smith in the Pacific net. Ducks defensemen Cam Fowler starts off the scoring for the Pacific division. He and Flames winger Johnny Gaudreau came in on a 2 on 1. Gaudreau sets up a nice one time pass for Fowler, and just like that 1-0 Pacific Division.

Jeff Carter makes it 2-0 on a backhand shot. It's just the All Star game, but you'd think Crawford could put in a little more effort on this shot. Carter just seemed to score way too easily on this play.

Captain Cereal Jonathan Toews makes it 2-1 late in the first half. (The teams played a twenty minute game. Ten minutes and then they switch ends) He just takes the puck down the ice himself and scored. Which is more than any of his other Blackhawks did. Just throwing that out there.

Connor McDavid is pretty good at hockey. Hence he's at the all star game. He shows off why he's so good. After winning the faceoff. McDavid hustles down the ice. Ryan Kesler feeds McDavid who then backhands the puck past Crawford making it 3-1 for the Pacific Division.

McDavid helped on the next Pacific Division goal as well. He was able to get the puck and quickly feed it to Brett Burns for a breakaway. Burns comes in all alone and scores, on the backhand, and makes it 4-1 Pacific.

Before the end of the half, Drew Doughty made it 5-1. Doughty beats Crawford, finding some room going five hole. At least it wasn't a back hand shot...

Goaltending change to begin the second half for both sides. The Pacific brings in Martin Jones. The Central countered with Devin Dubnyk. P.K. Subban opened up the scoring for the two teams in the second half. He beat Jones after making Kesler look like a traffic cone. 5-2 as the Central cut into the lead.

Gaudreau gets on the stat sheet again for the Pacific. Only this time it was a goal. Gaudreau finds some room with a wrister going top shelf and making it 6-2 Pacific.

Joe Pavelski scores to make it 7-2 Pacific and it's time to start wondering if there's a mercy rule.

It's the goal you have all been waiting for. Vladimir Tarasenko beats Jones to make it 7-3. We're all used to garbage time goals from Blues anyway, so it's fitting that one came in this one from a Blue.

Ryan Kesler makes it 8-3 for the Pacific Division. Still waiting on that mercy ruling guys. Also, great set up from Brent Burns on the play.

Bo Horvat scores to make it 9-3 Pacific. Yes, even Bo Horvat got to play, and subsequently score. Huh.

Johnny Hockey scores his second of the game, and gives the Pacific a 10-3 win. P.K. Subban looked to be the only one that wanted to win this one.

Game 2, Atlantic Division Vs. Metropolitan Division

Crosby and Ovechkin played on a line together. They didn't score the first goal of the game though. That honor went to Wayne Simmonds. Simmonds moves in on a breakaway chance and nets the puck past starter Carey Price. 1-0 Metro.

The Florida connection ties the game at one after some great passing to beat starter Sergei Bobrovski. Nikita Kucherov and Vincent Trocheck play hot potato and Kucherov gets the goal.

Crosby and Ovechkin didn't get the second Metro goal either. That honor went to...Wayne Simmonds again. This goal was better than the first. He steals the puck and then out waited Price and fires it into the back of the net. That made it 2-1 Metro.

The Atlantic come back down the ice and tie it thanks to a goal from Victor Hedman. Hedman just rifled a shot past Bobrovski and made tying the game look almost easy.

The Atlantic took the lead on a one timer from Erik Karlsson. Kyle Okposo set up the one timer chance and Karlsson didn't miss. It happened so fast that the horn didn't sound right away. I was hoping that maybe the Pacific broke it during the first game. No luck.

John Tavares tied the game at three thanks to some nifty play by a guy that wasn't even going to be in the game. Cam Atkinson fires one at Price. He then collected his own rebound and got it over to Tavares who buried it.

New goaltenders for each team to start the second half. Tuuka Rask for the Metro and Braden Holtby for the Atlantic side occupied the nets. The goals picked right back up, as Auston Matthews opened up the scoring in the second half. Shea Weber ended up making one too many passes but caught a break as it went off of Brad Marchand's skate right to Matthews. Matthews then proceeded to do what he does and scored.

The Metro find the back of the net again. Tavares nets his second goal of the game. Cam Atkinson tried the spin-o-rama but couldn't get it past Rask. Rask then fans on clearing the puck out from in front of the net Tavares was there to clean up the garbage left by Rask and ties the game at 4.

Literally seconds later, Seth Jones breaks the 4-4 tie. On a backhand chance. Sure were a lot of backhand chances that went in.

Taylor Hall wins the faceoff. Then proceeds to say, "I'm just gonna go ahead and do this myself" skates around Rask, who decided it was a good idea to come that far out of his crease. Spoiler: it wasn't Hall puts it in the back of the net making it look way too easy. Three goals in 19 seconds from the Metro squad.

Nikita Kucherov scores his second of the game on a wrister in the crease. The Metro had too many players on the ice. That gave the Atlantic the 2-on-1 chance. I feel like I've heard that one before.

Sidney Crosby scores to put the Metro team back up by two. On yet another backhanded chance.

Cam Atkinson makes it 8-5 when he takes the puck to the front of the net and just stuffs it past Rask.

Rask was pulled with about 3 minutes left in the game. Atkinson thought that was a great idea, as he would tally his second goal of the game empty net style.

The Florida connection strikes again late in the game. This time it was Trocheck who found the back of the net.

Not to be outdone by Crosby, Ovechkin scores with about a second left in the game. Justin Faulk keeps the play alive at the blue line gets it to Crosby who gets it to Ovi. Ovi taps it in and makes it 10-6 for your final score.

Million Dollar Game, Pacific Vs. Metropolitan

Here comes the money round. The Pacific jumped out to an early 1-0 lead thanks to Joe Pavelski. Not that anyone saw it because apparently they were too busy trying to win shirts or whatever the jackass in the front row was throwing.

Seth Jones ties the game at one thanks to a shot off the post and in. 1-1.

Goaltending in an all star game? What is this madness? It was a great save from Bobrovski is what it was.

Justin Faulk makes it 2-1 on a weird bounce. The puck deflected off of Connor McDavid's stick and past Martin Jones. Nothing you can really do about that.

McDavid made it up a little bit later in the game. He scored on a wonderful breakaway set up from a pass from Kesler. It looked as if Bobrovski tried to poke check the puck but missed. 2-2.

Bo Horvat scored to put the Pacific ahead 3-2. Once again proving that a guy named Bo can make it in the NHL.

Have yourself a day Cam Atkinson. He scores on his own rebound attempt to tie the game at three. Mike Smith was in the net for the Pacific on that goal.

Another Metro player having a great day was Wayne Simmonds. He breaks the tie on a pass from Taylor Hall in front of the net.

That ended up being the game winning tally. The Metro win it 4-3 and take the million dollar prize. From our stand point it was kind of disappointing seeing Tarasenko bow out after the first game. More so after he didn't do anything the night before. At least he got to rest up. The Blues are back in action tomorrow night against the Jets.

From The Twitter Machine:

That's ok Vladdy, a lot of people can't

In case you missed it, reason number infinity plus one why they should retire 44. That's Justin Beiber he's smashing into the corner by the way.

Mini Kes for alternate MVP. Think Simmonds would give up that honor?

In Soviet Russia...joke make you, or something.

Player of the Game:

Mini Kes, because kids always win. Stick Tap to Pronger/Biebs.