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“Last night on St. Louis Blues Hockey...”

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NHL: St. Louis Blues at Colorado Avalanche Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports

When I think of the 2016-17 St. Louis Blues, I think of a weekly television show that gets just enough of your interest to bring you back for the next episode. Sure, the finale will suck, but why not waste more time on the series? One of those TV shows where the cell phone is in your hand and it only collects about 55-60 percent of your interest throughout the episode with complete attention only coming during the action sequences and/or nudity scenes. That’s the St. Louis Blues this season.

It’s been an up and down affair for the local hockey team and the fans who clamor for something worthwhile on 14th and Clark in June. In a nutshell, 2016-17 has been a bitch. They lose a few, win six straight, lose five straight, and now have won eight of nine games to surge into third place in the Central Division, ahead of the steady Nashville Predators, who haven’t done enough to shut the door on the Blues. It’s like leaving a little weed on the front stoop of your home with Dave Matthews and Keith Richards prowling around the neighborhood.

What happened last night with the Blues? They ventured into the dome of Suc-ka-tude and beat a bad team. Granted, Stank’s team made the Blues earn it and while the final read 4-2, it was just 1-1 through 40 minutes. I love the people who assume a bad team will just let the Blues walk into their house and claim victory before the puck is dropped. Four of the final ten games are against Arizona or Colorado, which means Vegas will favor the Blue team, but it doesn’t lessen the effort of the poor. Nothing is easy in the NHL, where referees try desperately to get the on-sides calls correct.

Jaden Schwartz scored a goal for the first time in month and a half. It was his first non-empty net goal since Donald Trump officially took over the Oval Office, so expect a tweet from Donny to be released sometime this morning.

“Nice going by my fellow ginger warrior, Schwartz, (pout). I did those things when I was only worth five million dollars (pout).”-Trump

I’m glad Jaden scored, because blue balls in the spring is an ugly sight. Before he jammed home the go ahead tally, it looked like Schwartz was still trying to pass the puck to Vladimir Tarasenko. Poor guy forgot how, but he does have 45 points on the season, and that ties him for SECOND on the team with Alexander “Empty Net Goal King” Steen. The Blues are spreading the love around, but that’s cool. Wins are lovely.

Jake Allen was solid in goal again, and it brings me to a realization: how bad was Jim Corsi at coaching the goalies? I bet I could share a brew with Jim and laugh a bit about the good old days where a statistic wasn’t named after him, but the theory must be pressed. Since the goaltending coaching change, Allen has been a different dude in net. While some wanted him deader than disco, I merely doubted his ability to turn it around this season. I’m enjoying my crow salad, so thanks Jake. (more ranch, please)

Seriously, that Corsi guy looks like a thug from the 1970’s Scorsese call sheet.

Without Allen’s play Tuesday night in the mountains, the Blues are down 4-0 at the start of the second period, so kudos to #34 who got new oversight in net and a good cheer-up letter from a fan, which in return helped him turn his season around.

The fourth line continues to be the team’s MVP this season. Kyle Brodziak, Scottie Upshall, and Ryan Reaves are playing more minutes, agitating more opponents, and contributing in ways no one saw coming. Brodziak had an assist, and that brings the trio’s point total this season to 36 points, including 20 goals. By the way, that’s 20 goals in case you missed a few words ago. Give them the MVP and a pint of Tank 7 all around. Just because the minor league team didn’t move to Kansas City doesn’t mean the team can’t enjoy their beer.

Zach Sanford had a pair of assists, including the saucer assist of an angel to Ivan “So long for just forever Jori” Barbashev, which gives the Shattenkirk receipt three points in four games.

Magnus Paajarvi has six goals on the season after collecting a trash tip Tuesday night, so we can officially call off the snake doctor who has been checking his apartment for a stunt double. Where was this guy last spring? I know, it’s the Chicago Wolves coach, which brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, “thrown to the wolves.”

What’s on tap? Vancouver and the offices of Cal and Gary before more shitty teams arrive that should be handled, but could push back like a Stepford wife.

Think of it as the network that promises a huge reveal in next week’s episode, but only turns out to be the tiny detail that the detective had an affair with the suspect’s sister. The big reveal comes when the magic number for a playoff seed is zero (it’s at 13 this morning), and the Blues enter the playoff unknown once again.

That is when you buy the good bourbon and drink up.

Until next time,

Stay angry.