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Doug Armstrong’s press conference today sends a message to fans about coaching: temper your expectations

A wide net will be cast, but what will it dredge up?

Martin Brodeur Retirement Press Conference Photo by Jeff Curry/Getty Images

Well, we got one thing out of today’s press conference with Doug Armstrong: interim head coach Craig Berube will be given a look for the head coaching position.

No way. Such shock.

One would assume Berube would be given a look seeing as how he’ll be going through a massive audition. Granted, this will be an audition with the same coaching staff as Mike Yeo, so I’m not sure how accurate this look will be, but it’ll be a look.

As Tom Timmermann of the Post-Dispatch pointed out in the above-linked article, it will be a wide look. And probably a long one.

General manager Doug Armstrong said a wide net would be cast for a new coach, and that coaches in all parts of the game — AHL, Europe, college, juniors and those currently out of work — would be looked at. “It’s not something that’s going to be done over the next day or two,” Armstrong said. He said it was possible, but not probable, that a coach would be hired in season.

It’s possible, but not probable. For some reason, I keep flashing back to the “Margaritaville” episode of South Park. It’s not just because of the Sur la Table joke, either. It’s because, for some reason, I envision Doug Armstrong’s coaching search going something like the US Government’s search for an economic fix in 2008:

That is the level of faith that I have right now.

Other winning quotes:

“Obviously it’s an uncomfortable day for myself and the organization,” Armstrong said. “The difficult decision was made last night to relieve Mike Yeo of his coaching duties. It was something I felt and shared with ownership to make a change to see what we could accomplish this season.

”Craig Berube is in tune with today’s game, in tune with today’s athlete.”

“See what we could accomplish.” At this point my money is on “middle of the pack” at best, which means a meh draft pick. Waiting 20 games to can a coach who should’ve been fired two weeks ago doesn’t leave a large window to see what you can accomplish.

Also that last line sounds like you’re a corporate huckster selling us a shitty product, Doug. Like that’s literally corporate jargon for “I don’t know what this [insert item name here] does, but it’s something we have to sell.”

“That patience (with the core group) is now at its thinnest point,” he said. He said the core group “has to get us out of this.”

Oh, good, we’re back to blaming a nebulous, ill-defined “core group.” I’m sure fans will totally ignore that comment and not make any batshit suppositions (sorry, David Perron - you were part of one core group, so I’m sure that somehow you’ll be part of this one too).

So, to summarize: Doug Armstrong will look literally everywhere for a head coach, it’ll probably be Craig Berube for the remainder of this season, and a team that loves the words “status quo” will name him the official head coach in April after the season ends.

Congrats on your new head coaching position, Craig.

Here’s the full press conference.