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Why the Blues should bench David Perron for Game 4

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He’s doing Perron type things again...

NHL: Stanley Cup Final-Boston Bruins at St. Louis Blues Billy Hurst-USA TODAY Sports

There were multiple moments during Game 3 of the Stanley Cup Final that I literally wanted to throat-punch David Perron.

For those not offended by saying something violently mean about a Blue, follow along here.

Perron was a pest of the worst kind on Saturday night. He took a shitty penalty that led to the Bruins’ first goal, and later received another two minute roughing minor for messing with Tuukka Rask. Overall, in the Boston series, Perron has as many penalty minutes (6) as he does shots. The Frenchman has a -3 rating, and looks like dynamite with a short wick skating around the ice.

Look, I am all for screwing with a goaltender, but Perron’s antics were excessive, especially during a game you were getting your ass handed to you. He’s running into Rask well after the puck is secured, or he’s throwing a limb into his face or upper body for no reason. The same Blues fans who screamed at David Backes for using Jordan Binnington’s knee as a crutch should get enraged at Perron for being a premium asshat.

The man takes bad penalties and is a liability so far in this series, so bench him. Sit him the fuck out, and give the big Zach Sanford another life when Oskar Sundqvist comes back. You could place Sanford on that line with Sammy Blais and Ryan O’Reilly, and have a rugged manchild line, or mix it up. The boys could use a tiny shakeup after the turd left in the toilet of Game 3.

So far in this series, Perron has been a negative asset. I don’t care about his six goals and seven assists. All those positive things seem like ancient fucking history right now. It’s time for a change, and Perron should see the box. Send a message that moronic behavior barely gets by in January, much less the Stanley Cup Final.

The Bruins have found a way to turn Perron into his worst, rat-like self. He’s a poor man’s Brad Marchand out there, wrecking the wrong kind of havoc. Please draw up a way that he doesn’t fuck up Game 4. Go ahead, smart analytical hockey minds. Do it. Please.

Getting Sundqvist back and deleting Perron will be just like making one of the greatest roster trades in Cup Final history. It’s like finding the last big kid standing off to the side during the tackle football tournament. Perron is the friend you don’t like so you give him the wrong address for the party.

It won’t be easy. At this stage in the game, nothing is. This is the big boy tournament. A time where the little moves mean the world and cost you if they aren’t made.

Sanford played his ass off on Saturday night. He was everywhere. Sanford accumulated an assist, +1 rating, and dished out two hits during his nine-plus minutes of action. Could he do more with extra time? I think he could. Turn him loose. Look what happened when Blais got inserted into the playoff lineup with a longer leash.

We are past the feelings game, and into the do or die mode. If the Blues lose Game 4, there is no coming back. I don’t have to do the math for you. It’s highly unlikely. Now is not the time to get soft. Craig Berube isn’t soft, but perhaps he is loyal.

Perron is fucking up for all the reasons fans dreaded the sight of his return last summer. He’s doing all the things you hate at the worst time.

Do the right thing and send Perron to the suite. He can’t hurt the team up there.